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the COCK in me: A Chicken Shifter Romance
A story with no planning at all. This book was written on a whim because the delusional author, who is writing this blurb in the third person, thought it would be fun.
The lead character is an ass, but he isn’t actually an Ass he is a Human who turns into a Chicken. You read that right, he is no Alpha-Wolf or a hot beefy Bear, he is a clucking cluster-f*ck of testosterone. Dive into this book and see what the mind of a potential sociopath can dream up while he spends too much time on public transport with nothing more than his thoughts and a phone to type things up on.
This book is the winner of no awards and should not be taken seriously in anyway.
It is recommended that only people who are aged 18 and above read this masterpiece as it contains graphic scenes, glorified sex and a made-up process where to make chicken nuggets they do some unspeakable things. Otherwise it’s all good.
The lead character is an ass, but he isn’t actually an Ass he is a Human who turns into a Chicken. You read that right, he is no Alpha-Wolf or a hot beefy Bear, he is a clucking cluster-f*ck of testosterone. Dive into this book and see what the mind of a potential sociopath can dream up while he spends too much time on public transport with nothing more than his thoughts and a phone to type things up on.
This book is the winner of no awards and should not be taken seriously in anyway.
It is recommended that only people who are aged 18 and above read this masterpiece as it contains graphic scenes, glorified sex and a made-up process where to make chicken nuggets they do some unspeakable things. Otherwise it’s all good.
- GenresParanormal
49 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 13, 2017
About the author
Julian Napier
11 books31 followersJulian Napier is the twisted side of sexy.
An author who will push boundaries in more ways than you can imagine through stories that will drag you to the depths of darkness.
After years of fascination with the strange, the bizarre and the macabre Julian has decided to put his over active imagination to good use and produce sinister stories and twisted tales for whoever is willing to read them.
An author who will push boundaries in more ways than you can imagine through stories that will drag you to the depths of darkness.
After years of fascination with the strange, the bizarre and the macabre Julian has decided to put his over active imagination to good use and produce sinister stories and twisted tales for whoever is willing to read them.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
February 19, 2024
Look…. I know it’s not the craziest thing out there. It’s not even all that smutty— but do you wanna know what it was? FUNNY AF. I laughed so hard during almost every scene of this book. The MMC is an egotistical prick (in a nice way, not a mean one) who has the best commentary. The FMC is so chill and just laughs and laughs, no dramatics. She’s not even really a damsel in distress, although she does need to be “saved”.
It’s a little on the bro-ey side for the humor but not too douchey. His roast of the chicken shifter characters Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Really F*cking Dumb had me dead:
“And that is why he is known as Really-F*cking-Dumb, he has the common sense of a spatula and I’m pretty sure that when they tested his IQ he got a negative score.”
At only 48 pages, it’s worth a read- even just for some comedic relief. The dedication and acknowledgment alone is worth the read. I loved every page.
Happy reading Mother-Cluckers
It’s a little on the bro-ey side for the humor but not too douchey. His roast of the chicken shifter characters Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Really F*cking Dumb had me dead:
“And that is why he is known as Really-F*cking-Dumb, he has the common sense of a spatula and I’m pretty sure that when they tested his IQ he got a negative score.”
At only 48 pages, it’s worth a read- even just for some comedic relief. The dedication and acknowledgment alone is worth the read. I loved every page.
Happy reading Mother-Cluckers
February 5, 2024
5 stars for five new names for dongs. Brilliant. Hilarious. Ridiculous. “If you enjoyed this book then there must be something wrong with you because I wrote it with the sole purpose of wasting your time.” I regret to inform the author this was not a waste of time. In fact, it’s a must read. We’re throwing hands if you don’t absolutely love this ridiculous 48 page tale of were chickens. Cluck cluck mother fucker.
December 22, 2022
Hilarious
If you are looking for a way to waste your time and go hoarse from laughing all at once, this is it.
I knew what I was getting into and I was not disappointed. I need more shifter "romances" that are as ridiculous and slapstick as this absolute disaster of a story.
I want to hug it. I want to burn it. I think I love it.
If you are looking for a way to waste your time and go hoarse from laughing all at once, this is it.
I knew what I was getting into and I was not disappointed. I need more shifter "romances" that are as ridiculous and slapstick as this absolute disaster of a story.
I want to hug it. I want to burn it. I think I love it.
September 29, 2017
Not long ago, I suggested to an author friend of mine that she write a satirical romance short story utilizing as many corny, bad adjectives and descriptors as she could come up with. Heaven knows, I certainly had a long list from other authors attempting uniqueness in their novels and falling flat with a “throw a dart at the thesaurus ” method of writing. Well, let me tell you, Julian has done just that, and in a side-splitting, hilarious, spectacular way!
This story begins with the main character (whose name I never did grasp, since it’s written from his POV, and in the overall scheme, it seems insignificant that I can’t recall it) and his friend/fellow chicken shifter pleasuring the same woman. But is it really a ménage when two of the participants are were-chickens? Oh, who am I kidding? The storyline isn’t what matters here, although there is an actual plot, complete with drama, action and a surprise ending. What matters is the pure genius in the telling of the story and the aforementioned descriptors. You gotta love the creative mind that comes up with things like “meaty sceptre,” “love cavern,” “fleshy clarinet,” and “pelvic pogo stick,” while showing ecstasy with “moans, groans, and cock-a-doodle-doo’s!” If you’re looking for something titillating, look elsewhere, but if you want unique, fresh and hysterically funny, Julian Napier is your man.
Anything you ever thought you knew about shifters will be challenged with this book, because chicken shifters are certainly a bird of another feather. The author does have a valid point. Bears and wolves have been done ad nauseum, and this tour de farce is a delightful change. I could truly envision a whole series, with this book as the first, of unique were-critters ready to save the world! (Psst, Julian, the duck billed platypus is severely underrated!) Grab this book if you’d like a spectacular laugh and don’t mind having your illusions of romance pretty much shattered. And don’t skip over the Acknowledgements at the end. That’s one of the best parts!
Oh yes, the fine print. I voluntarily read an advance copy and give this book five shiny gold stars!
This story begins with the main character (whose name I never did grasp, since it’s written from his POV, and in the overall scheme, it seems insignificant that I can’t recall it) and his friend/fellow chicken shifter pleasuring the same woman. But is it really a ménage when two of the participants are were-chickens? Oh, who am I kidding? The storyline isn’t what matters here, although there is an actual plot, complete with drama, action and a surprise ending. What matters is the pure genius in the telling of the story and the aforementioned descriptors. You gotta love the creative mind that comes up with things like “meaty sceptre,” “love cavern,” “fleshy clarinet,” and “pelvic pogo stick,” while showing ecstasy with “moans, groans, and cock-a-doodle-doo’s!” If you’re looking for something titillating, look elsewhere, but if you want unique, fresh and hysterically funny, Julian Napier is your man.
Anything you ever thought you knew about shifters will be challenged with this book, because chicken shifters are certainly a bird of another feather. The author does have a valid point. Bears and wolves have been done ad nauseum, and this tour de farce is a delightful change. I could truly envision a whole series, with this book as the first, of unique were-critters ready to save the world! (Psst, Julian, the duck billed platypus is severely underrated!) Grab this book if you’d like a spectacular laugh and don’t mind having your illusions of romance pretty much shattered. And don’t skip over the Acknowledgements at the end. That’s one of the best parts!
Oh yes, the fine print. I voluntarily read an advance copy and give this book five shiny gold stars!
October 5, 2017
Just to let you know this isn’t your typical shifter book. I’m sure you guys have read about our flashier relatives the wolf and bear shifters well I’m a real live chicken shifter or were-chicken if you must. True their aren’t many of us since some of my brethren have ended up as part of a $5.99 special from that guy that sells chicken in those cardboard buckets.
While we may have feathers and beaks in our were form, when we are human we do have enormous meat sticks that gets the female spring breaker with those jiggly double fun bags bikini wearing oil slicked bodies all spent with our double team action.
Vernon my pal and I like to give these spring breakers a double treat of man meat. Well it seems this spring break we have discovered a long kept secret by our chicken elders. It seems our archenemy has a daughter and the elders have tasked us were-chickens to find her and bring her to them. So while on the hunt for the daughter I’m also hoping my pelvic-pogo-stick meets a sweet flap covered cavern and boing her till we both are screaming Cock-A-Doodle-Do.
As you can tell by the above blurb this book is satire all the way. This is not a book you read around company or for that matter with anything in your mouth that you don’t want to spew out at inappropriate times. A friend of mine who is also an avid reader we were having a conversation about some of the inane things authors have come up with to describe the human anatomy when the leads get horizontal. She found this book and told me that I needed to read it as the author purposefully made up some of the most outlandish names to call human fun bits.
I couldn’t stop laughing at the outrageous behavior of the chicken-were. Plus the threesome with an unsuspecting human was hysterical. So if you want a break from the typical shifter books “The Cock In Me” full of the craziest metaphors for body parts while following the antics of a were-chicken on the run trying to avoid Death By Plucking get into a secluded spot and let your feathers free.
I voluntarily read an ARC of this book for an honest no chickens were hurt review.
While we may have feathers and beaks in our were form, when we are human we do have enormous meat sticks that gets the female spring breaker with those jiggly double fun bags bikini wearing oil slicked bodies all spent with our double team action.
Vernon my pal and I like to give these spring breakers a double treat of man meat. Well it seems this spring break we have discovered a long kept secret by our chicken elders. It seems our archenemy has a daughter and the elders have tasked us were-chickens to find her and bring her to them. So while on the hunt for the daughter I’m also hoping my pelvic-pogo-stick meets a sweet flap covered cavern and boing her till we both are screaming Cock-A-Doodle-Do.
As you can tell by the above blurb this book is satire all the way. This is not a book you read around company or for that matter with anything in your mouth that you don’t want to spew out at inappropriate times. A friend of mine who is also an avid reader we were having a conversation about some of the inane things authors have come up with to describe the human anatomy when the leads get horizontal. She found this book and told me that I needed to read it as the author purposefully made up some of the most outlandish names to call human fun bits.
I couldn’t stop laughing at the outrageous behavior of the chicken-were. Plus the threesome with an unsuspecting human was hysterical. So if you want a break from the typical shifter books “The Cock In Me” full of the craziest metaphors for body parts while following the antics of a were-chicken on the run trying to avoid Death By Plucking get into a secluded spot and let your feathers free.
I voluntarily read an ARC of this book for an honest no chickens were hurt review.
October 13, 2017
This book was amazing. Why? Because it had everything that I want in a book (captivating characters with depths to their personality, fast paced plot, action sequences, love scenes, a SATISFYING ending, and laugh-out-loud moments) and NOTHING that I don't (I hate unnecessary drama, one dimensional characters, storylines that drag, and cliffhangers).
I honestly had no clue what to expect going into this book, but it surpassed my expectations. I usually never re-read books because there are so many out there that I haven't read...why save something when there are more stories to explore? However, this bad boy is staying on my kindle. Yeah, I enjoyed it THAT MUCH! Highly recommended if you want a good laugh.
I honestly had no clue what to expect going into this book, but it surpassed my expectations. I usually never re-read books because there are so many out there that I haven't read...why save something when there are more stories to explore? However, this bad boy is staying on my kindle. Yeah, I enjoyed it THAT MUCH! Highly recommended if you want a good laugh.
October 13, 2017
4 Stars
I gave The Cock in Me by Julian Napier Four Stars. I would consider this a Spoof on Shifter books so when you start reading it please keep that in mind. You are thrown right into a scene that includes two male shifter chickens and female and you think “wow does this book have a story line” It sure does and it is Hilarious! I found myself laughing out loud and reading sentences to my Husband. At one point, I said “why am I reading this” but I could not put it down, I had to finish the story to see how it ended. The Author has a very strange sense of Humor in this book but it really worked. This is a very short read and if you go into the book knowing that he wrote it as a Spoof I really believe you will enjoy it.
I gave The Cock in Me by Julian Napier Four Stars. I would consider this a Spoof on Shifter books so when you start reading it please keep that in mind. You are thrown right into a scene that includes two male shifter chickens and female and you think “wow does this book have a story line” It sure does and it is Hilarious! I found myself laughing out loud and reading sentences to my Husband. At one point, I said “why am I reading this” but I could not put it down, I had to finish the story to see how it ended. The Author has a very strange sense of Humor in this book but it really worked. This is a very short read and if you go into the book knowing that he wrote it as a Spoof I really believe you will enjoy it.
October 13, 2017
I must say that this is truly unlike anything I've ever read. Though you won't get smarter or learn how to solve the worlds problems reading this book, you will laugh your behind off. With so many WTF and did I just read that right moments, this is one of those books you pull out when life is just so dull or you need a good laugh.
March 22, 2020
LOL!
First book I've read by this author. It's beyond crazy, LOL stupid, but for whatever reason I read it all, laughed, rolled my eyes, and pinched myself a couple of times to make sure i was actually reading it. However, with the mess the world is in just now the escape and down right stupid was welcomed.
First book I've read by this author. It's beyond crazy, LOL stupid, but for whatever reason I read it all, laughed, rolled my eyes, and pinched myself a couple of times to make sure i was actually reading it. However, with the mess the world is in just now the escape and down right stupid was welcomed.
September 12, 2021
I’m a sucker for an odd title and synopsis and obviously this ticks both boxes. I have to say I’ve read some weird sh#t in the past but this… hell I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as much as I did reading this. Seriously I have tears streaming down my face and my sides hurt. A 110% crazy assed story that certainly brightened up my day. Totally worth the read for the laughs alone 😂😂
February 5, 2024
Bizarre and weird. This is a perfect, quick way to waste some time and gain a few laughs. 😂
September 27, 2017
I don't know how to describe this book. It makes no sense yet it had me laughing the whole time! People shifting into chickens? Hilarious 🐤
January 15, 2018
4.5 Stars. So funny! I read this book in between some dark romance reads and angsty romance reads and I needed it! It's funny, quirky, and dirty and had just enough plot to keep me reading. Who would have though a chicken shifter could be sexy, but he is! There's a touch of romance and some action that made this book fun to read. I would consider it's genre to be rom-com or an erotic comedy and Julian Napier sucked you right in with the first few pages. I'll have to see how well he writes when he's writing with purpose and not just for shits and giggles!
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
October 10, 2017
I’m not sure where to start with this review. Could I have spent the hour doing something productive over reading this? Yes, I could have but then I wouldn’t have spent an hour laughing and escaping reality reading a chicken shifter romance. Let me just say that this is probably something you have never read before or will read again unless Mr. Napier continues to take public transportation with nothing but his delusional mind and his cell phone.
This shifter romance about a human who turns into a chicken and is extremely horny and is trying to save the girl from all the other chicken shifters who are out to capture her, will have you shaking your head and laughing. Getting lost in this ridiculous story is definitely a good escape on a busy or crazy day when you need a break from life.
After reading this, you may hope that Mr. Napier writes a sequel (which will make you as crazy as he is) or that the next time his travels include public transportation, he finds a seat next to someone and strikes up a conversation to keep his unsettled mind occupied.
This shifter romance about a human who turns into a chicken and is extremely horny and is trying to save the girl from all the other chicken shifters who are out to capture her, will have you shaking your head and laughing. Getting lost in this ridiculous story is definitely a good escape on a busy or crazy day when you need a break from life.
After reading this, you may hope that Mr. Napier writes a sequel (which will make you as crazy as he is) or that the next time his travels include public transportation, he finds a seat next to someone and strikes up a conversation to keep his unsettled mind occupied.
October 6, 2017
I've been trying to figure out how to write a review for this story. It is certainly not your typical shifter story and is definitely in the realm of what did I just read. I went in knowing not to take it seriously and it ended up being a hilarious read. This is a chicken shifter romance (yes, chicken) and there are so many different terms that Julian uses to describe a scene or a part of the anatomy that will leave you laughing. If you'd like a good hearty laugh along with a few WTF moments, I recommend checking this out. Make sure to have an open mind and not be so serious when reading. Just hang on and enjoy this wild ride, as well as many laughs, from Julian's twisted, hilarious mind.
September 20, 2017
Ok where do I start with the review of this book. I probably need to say it has to be read with tongue in cheek!!. Chickens shifters and humans...really!!....yep that's correct. It's a short story that's well written and easy to read and it's absolutely hilarious. I won't bother going over the story but Ive never laughed so much. Ive also never seen so many metaphors for parts of the human body!!..
Julian Napier has a very clever but sometimes warped mind when he's writing but it makes him unique.. If you enjoy off the wall , very funny, short stories then this book is a must read !!
Julian Napier has a very clever but sometimes warped mind when he's writing but it makes him unique.. If you enjoy off the wall , very funny, short stories then this book is a must read !!
October 3, 2017
Read the book with an open mind and a mood to laugh and you will sure enjoy it (as well as laugh a lot !). I started reading it thinking it was a typical shifter romance and man was I wrong ! Shifter chickens ! Never saw that coming. The first page I was bugging my eyes out thinking 'seriously - who talks like that'. But it didn't take long to realize where the author is taking you. It's simple enjoyment. Like an x-rated version of a shifter spoof. If you want to laugh out loud - read this book.
October 13, 2017
I saw this one and looked at the title and blurb and thought that maybe this was some weird joke. It's not a joke, it's really a story. It's a funny story. I was in need of a laugh and a break for life so I grabbed this one. It's a short quick read that will have you laughing. The main character is a chicken shifter. I don't think he think about much but sex. The story has funny lines that kept me turning the page. If you are looking for a quick read that will make you laugh, you should check this one out.
October 13, 2017
This is the type of book that a serious reader would give 🌟
BUT...... what’s a serious reader doing reading this???? This is a book you go into, reading it tongue in cheek style. It’s a CHICKEN SHFTER ROMANCE FFS
YES, I said a CHICKEN SHIFTER ROMANCE!
Read it to have a laugh and escape for an hour or two. Pass it on to friends who have a stick up their ass, to get them living again.
ENJOY! Don’t blame me..... Julian is a twisted mother trucker!
BUT...... what’s a serious reader doing reading this???? This is a book you go into, reading it tongue in cheek style. It’s a CHICKEN SHFTER ROMANCE FFS
YES, I said a CHICKEN SHIFTER ROMANCE!
Read it to have a laugh and escape for an hour or two. Pass it on to friends who have a stick up their ass, to get them living again.
ENJOY! Don’t blame me..... Julian is a twisted mother trucker!
October 12, 2017
Where to start with this very interesting piece given to us by the infamous Julian Napier...Wow. I’ve read a lot of shifter stories in my time but I will admit this is the first chicken shifter book that has ever graced my kindle. Julian’s twisted sense of humor is seen throughout this book. If you are easily offended this is probably not the book for you. However, if you like to laugh and have a weird sense of humor this book is 100% up your ally.
November 19, 2017
I cant even...
This book was meant to be tongue in cheek, but it's actually mouth wide open head flung back hysterical!! It does all the things that a book should never do but it does it so badly that it's just f'ing epic awesomeness. Get it. Read it. You won't be able to stop smiling for days if you just let your prejudices go and simply enjoy. Plus, don't forget to read the acknowledgement section at the end. Its just a twisted and fun as the book!
This book was meant to be tongue in cheek, but it's actually mouth wide open head flung back hysterical!! It does all the things that a book should never do but it does it so badly that it's just f'ing epic awesomeness. Get it. Read it. You won't be able to stop smiling for days if you just let your prejudices go and simply enjoy. Plus, don't forget to read the acknowledgement section at the end. Its just a twisted and fun as the book!
November 5, 2022
Hilarious satire on the shifter romance obsession! I love shifter romances but I can also appreciate the ridiculousness both in those and in this book. If you are reading this expecting seriousness, plot or any character development, you won’t find that here. But if you want a good laugh and especially if you are a shifter romance fiend and can laugh at yourself, you’ll love this!
October 2, 2017
This book was so hilarious!! I got a lot going on right now and this book made my day I could not stop laughing!! A Must read for a cheer up pick me up And just flat out belly laughs!!! 2 👍👍thumbs up and a standing slow clap!!!👏👏
October 9, 2017
Julian Napier has written a great little shifter book. Not your average werewolf, nope! The Cock in Me is a mother-cluckin' hilarious, tongue in cheek read that will leave you with tears of laughter!!
October 17, 2017
Just read this! Definitely different from the other books I’ve read from Julian. I literally laughed out loud. I should probably read it again to make sure I didn’t miss anything between the laugh tears. But seriously, check this out
April 15, 2019
I picked this up as a joke, because chicken shifters, really? But this book is absolutely hilarious. I laughed all the way through and the "cock-fight" had me absolutely peeing with laughter. If you're looking for something very light-hearted, this cocky romance is a winner.
December 31, 2023
Morally, I can't give this book any higher than 2 stars, even though I was laughing the entire read. It's a short, satirical story with the most basic plot & format. It's not a good read, but it's a good time.
February 9, 2024
Congratulations, you succeeded in wasting my time! I agree we need more unusual shifters! Congratulations on the 12 different euphemisms that made me cringe and chuckle. So thankful I read the forward of this book!!
October 12, 2017
This story was absolutely hysterical. Werechickens. Who like sex with tourist humans. And now they’re trying to avoid being turned into nuggets.
October 13, 2017
Wow what a different spin on the shifter story. Umm made me laugh cringe and just a quick read to distract me. It was very easy to read and funny
Received an arc for my honest review
Received an arc for my honest review
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews