Sinister Stitches: Pick Your Style Quiz

It’s Friday night. Your friends want to hang out. What’s the plan?

Something expensive. Like going to the club, movies, anywhere.

Something reasonable. Like rent a movie and burn the popcorn.

Something that involves the community. Like a man hunt.

Something bloody. Like chess or monopoly.

Something illegal. (Don’t lie. Everyone has that friend.)

I don’t have any friends. Get out of my house.

Your friends tell you that you can’t wear what you wore last time. What did you wear?

Um, I didn’t go. Any reports of a woman running around the city in stretchy pants and a Garfield T-shirt are doppelgangers and they’re not to be trusted

My best combat boots.

A pencil skirt and some heels.

Tight jeans and a shirt that quietly reminds people why tits should rule the earth.

Something short, slinky, and sexy.

I drink bottom shelf liquor and I shop at Goodwill. Don’t ask me probing questions. I can’t answer them.

Whatever my kids haven’t destroyed.

Slacks, a white button down, and pumps that look like stakes.

You’re hanging out at Club Brimstone. You order a drink.

Something sweet, and more than likely I didn’t pay for it myself

Something strong, and then get the fuck away from me

Something cheap, I’m not made out of money

My favorite. I don’t care what you have to do. Make it happen.

Whatever the bartender put in front of me.

I don’t drink. I came to babysit the rest of you assholes.

The handsome stranger smiles at you and asks, “What do you for a living?”

Mind my own business. Tough job. Lots of people struggle.

Service industry (cashier, waiter, maid, sales associate)

Entertainment industry (singer, writer, artist, comedian)

Labor Force (factories, farmhands, etc.)

Corporate (lawyers, processors, vendor coordinators)

Healthcare (nurses, caregivers, doctors)

I’m a wife and mother

He/she leans a little closer and says, “I want the rest of your night. I don’t care if we ever see each other again. For tonight, be mine.” What do you do?

You pretend not to hear him, and try not to pass out from oxygen deprivation.

You meet his gaze and tell him to back off.

You flip your hair and say something witty

You grab his hand and start making your way for the nearest dark corner

You keep reading your book, because he’s obviously confused

You challenge him with a wager. If he can X, you will X.

I don’t speak to handsome strangers

He/she seduces you into an ice cream parlor, and demands to share your ice cream. What kind of ice cream do you order?

He/she asks, “What do you look for in a romantic partner?”

The Prince. Someone to procreate with me, who offers intimacy and nurturing.

The Rake. Someone to drive me to be better, who offers acceptance and brutal honesty.

The Warrior. Someone to succeed with me, who offers intelligence and strength.

The Scholar. Someone to teach me, who offers wisdom and insight.

The Knight. Someone to love me, who offers mutual desire and passion.

The King. I’m looking for a fairy tale. I want everything,

You and this handsome stranger talk for hours. The ice cream parlor is closing. What’s your next move?

Exchange contact information, you can never have too many friends.

Kiss him goodnight, but leave him wondering.

Insist he follow you to a hotel for coffee, and…conversation.

Thank him for wasting your time and shoo him out the door.

Write your phone number on a napkin, and slip it in his pocket to find later.

Introduce him to your friends, knowing that any hopes of sex are dashed.

Tell him that the night isn’t over, and let him figure out what to do next.

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Sinister Stitches: Pick Your Style Quiz