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Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
It's no surprise that our fast-paced, overly self-analytical culture is pushing many people—especially women—to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this overthinking, and her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women—more than half of those in her extensive study—are doing it too much and too often, leading to sadness, anxiety, and depression. She challenges the assumption—heralded by so many pop-psychology pundits of the last several decades—that constantly expressing and analyzing our emotions is a good thing.
In Women Who Think Too Much, Nolen-Hoeksema shows us what causes so many women to be overthinkers and provides concrete strategies that can be used to escape these negative thoughts, move to higher ground, and live more productively. Women Who Think Too Much will change lives, and is destined to become a self-help classic.
In Women Who Think Too Much, Nolen-Hoeksema shows us what causes so many women to be overthinkers and provides concrete strategies that can be used to escape these negative thoughts, move to higher ground, and live more productively. Women Who Think Too Much will change lives, and is destined to become a self-help classic.
273 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
About the author
Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
75 books40 followersDr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema was born on May 22, 1959, in Springfield, Ill., to John and Catherine Nolen. Her father ran a construction business, where her mother was the office manager; Susan was the eldest of three children.
Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, psychologist and writer, helped explain why women are twice as prone to depression as men and why such low moods can be so hard to shake. Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema, a professor at Yale University, began studying depression in the 1980s.
She entered Illinois State University before transferring to Yale. She graduated summa cum laude in 1982 with a degree in psychology. After earning a Ph.D. in psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, she joined the faculty at Stanford. She later moved to the University of Michigan, before returning to Yale in 2004.
Along the way she published scores of studies and a popular textbook. In 2003 she became the editor of the Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, an influential journal.
Her studies, first in children and later in adults, exposed one of the most deceptively upsetting of these patterns: rumination, the natural instinct to dwell on the sources of problems rather than their possible solutions. Women were more prone to ruminate than men, the studies found, and in a landmark 1987 paper she argued that this difference accounted for the two-to-one ratio of depressed women to depressed men.
She later linked rumination to a variety of mood and behavior problems, including anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse.
Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema wrote several books about her research for general readers, including “Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life.” These books described why rumination could be so corrosive — it is deeply distracting; it tends to highlight negative memories — and how such thoughts could be alleviated.
Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, psychologist and writer, helped explain why women are twice as prone to depression as men and why such low moods can be so hard to shake. Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema, a professor at Yale University, began studying depression in the 1980s.
She entered Illinois State University before transferring to Yale. She graduated summa cum laude in 1982 with a degree in psychology. After earning a Ph.D. in psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, she joined the faculty at Stanford. She later moved to the University of Michigan, before returning to Yale in 2004.
Along the way she published scores of studies and a popular textbook. In 2003 she became the editor of the Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, an influential journal.
Her studies, first in children and later in adults, exposed one of the most deceptively upsetting of these patterns: rumination, the natural instinct to dwell on the sources of problems rather than their possible solutions. Women were more prone to ruminate than men, the studies found, and in a landmark 1987 paper she argued that this difference accounted for the two-to-one ratio of depressed women to depressed men.
She later linked rumination to a variety of mood and behavior problems, including anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse.
Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema wrote several books about her research for general readers, including “Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life.” These books described why rumination could be so corrosive — it is deeply distracting; it tends to highlight negative memories — and how such thoughts could be alleviated.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 225 reviews
November 17, 2017
One thing annoyed me greatly. Whenever the author is introducing a woman in one of her examples, she always describes them as a "plucky blonde with sparkling blue eyes." I couldn't help but be distracted by how tacky and stereotypical this comes off. It really turned me off to the book.
February 20, 2012
I don't know why it is titled : "Women who think too much". I think the book is relevant to both men and women.
I am really glad to have read this book.. it doesn't really answer all questions, but it gives good advises to beat overthinking..
I am sure, I shall read it again some time soon.
The best thing about it is mainly the case studies, and life scenarios. It makes ideas very clear, as if I am living each situation exactly. Most probably the reactions mentioned would be exactly my reaction if I am in that place.
I am really glad to have read this book.. it doesn't really answer all questions, but it gives good advises to beat overthinking..
I am sure, I shall read it again some time soon.
The best thing about it is mainly the case studies, and life scenarios. It makes ideas very clear, as if I am living each situation exactly. Most probably the reactions mentioned would be exactly my reaction if I am in that place.
May 18, 2012
Really good book. I read it in the library cuz it caught my eye because lately I have been over thinking my relationship with my bf. And it was very helpful. Made me feel better and I actually was taking a walk to try and clear my mind and ended up at the bookstore. So what she says about doing something for urself helps u not over think so much is so true. Not being so clingy giving ur partner space and not always trying to fix ur relationship or over analyzing every little thing he does. I recommend this book to anyone who is overt honking and over analyzing their relationships
November 10, 2022
This book was written almost 20 years ago, and it shows.
Get ready for a rant.
1. The book talks about overthinking and depression almost synonymously, as if anyone who overthinks is certainly depressed, and it goes on to talk about research comparing depressed and non-depressed people in an attempt to show how overthinking will destroy your life.
Chapter 1 is a stressful experience, it spends at least 40 pages talking about (Jill) or (Polly) or some other blonde blue eyed female and giving us 'insight' into their minds, by writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of what overthinking looks like.
First of all, I've clearly picked up this book because I am struggling with overthinking and am looking for a solution. I didn't come here to read about it in first person from like 20 other people. (And I'm sure others can agree)
2. It's views on depression were out-dated, talking about how 'misfiring brains' lead to depression, as if the brain is the cause of everything, and that our happiness (or unhappiness) is completely isolated and unaffected by our environment. In reality, research has consistently shown that our environments affect our brains and their functioning, and the main contributors to depression are largely environmental (see Lost Connections by Johann Hari).
3. It does not distinguish between correlation and causality.
Oh, so women have lower pay than men? - therefore this must be a factor in why they overthink.
The brains of depressed people look different to non-depressed people- oh this must mean faulty brains caused depression.
It pulls factual evidence on women's pay, women's rights etc. and states it as the cause for depression or overthinking. I could do that with anything, oh women eat porridge for breakfast, the porridge must be causing the overthinking.
4. On top of that, it's highly sexist, is not sensitive to the current environmental problems that contribute to overthinking e.g. finances, job satisfaction, loneliness, family pressures, religion etc, and instead attributes it to everything that comes with being a woman. If I'm honest, I couldn't even finish the first section, it just pissed me off too much. Maybe there are some helpful nuggets in there, but I don't have the patience for this misinformed book.
Get ready for a rant.
1. The book talks about overthinking and depression almost synonymously, as if anyone who overthinks is certainly depressed, and it goes on to talk about research comparing depressed and non-depressed people in an attempt to show how overthinking will destroy your life.
Chapter 1 is a stressful experience, it spends at least 40 pages talking about (Jill) or (Polly) or some other blonde blue eyed female and giving us 'insight' into their minds, by writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of what overthinking looks like.
First of all, I've clearly picked up this book because I am struggling with overthinking and am looking for a solution. I didn't come here to read about it in first person from like 20 other people. (And I'm sure others can agree)
2. It's views on depression were out-dated, talking about how 'misfiring brains' lead to depression, as if the brain is the cause of everything, and that our happiness (or unhappiness) is completely isolated and unaffected by our environment. In reality, research has consistently shown that our environments affect our brains and their functioning, and the main contributors to depression are largely environmental (see Lost Connections by Johann Hari).
3. It does not distinguish between correlation and causality.
Oh, so women have lower pay than men? - therefore this must be a factor in why they overthink.
The brains of depressed people look different to non-depressed people- oh this must mean faulty brains caused depression.
It pulls factual evidence on women's pay, women's rights etc. and states it as the cause for depression or overthinking. I could do that with anything, oh women eat porridge for breakfast, the porridge must be causing the overthinking.
4. On top of that, it's highly sexist, is not sensitive to the current environmental problems that contribute to overthinking e.g. finances, job satisfaction, loneliness, family pressures, religion etc, and instead attributes it to everything that comes with being a woman. If I'm honest, I couldn't even finish the first section, it just pissed me off too much. Maybe there are some helpful nuggets in there, but I don't have the patience for this misinformed book.
September 29, 2012
Some of the case studies in the book really annoyed me; as another reviewer said, is it necessary for us to know the eye and hair color of all of the women discussed? No.
That said, I did appreciate the straightforward manner that Nolen-Hoeksema approaches the over thinking problem and practical tips for managing it. As a chronic ruminator, it was helpful to me to realize that I am not solving problems by thinking about them all the time; instead I am making them worse. Obviously not all of her tips for managing negative thoughts will work for everyone but I think some deserve attention and implementation.
Overall, I think this book is a worthy read if you have a tendency to over think.
December 29, 2021
More of a 2.5 but being generous and rounding up to 3. This was a good book with helpful information. I appreciated all the references to scientific studies and then real-life examples to explain it in layman's terms. However, I found parts 1 and 2 to be most valuable. Part 3 about triggers felt like it was repeating previous sections of the book and didn't add much more value.
PS: Still rolling my eyes at how most of the women in the examples were introduced. Sally, a blue-eyed leggy brunette..... ugh
PS: Still rolling my eyes at how most of the women in the examples were introduced. Sally, a blue-eyed leggy brunette..... ugh
December 30, 2015
Stari moj, trebalo mi je "samo" sedam mjeseci da ju zgotovim! Uvijek su se neki drugi naslovi ubacivali prije.. Prvih stotinjak stranica jako naporno i dosadno jer se navode nepresusni izvori raznih testiranja.
Da ne zapocnem Novu s "repom" ova knjiga je procitana, ali da sam nesto ekstra doznala o rjesavanju problema pretjeranog razmisljanja i nisam.. Samo hrpu novih ideja za "vjezbanje" mozga! :P
Pouka: Svaka zena bi sebi trebala pronaci najbolji nacin kako ne razmisljati puno u prazno. Ma da? A da ste dali barem desetak primjera kako to napraviti, mozda bi se netko tu i nasao. Ja bas i nisam.
Da ne zapocnem Novu s "repom" ova knjiga je procitana, ali da sam nesto ekstra doznala o rjesavanju problema pretjeranog razmisljanja i nisam.. Samo hrpu novih ideja za "vjezbanje" mozga! :P
Pouka: Svaka zena bi sebi trebala pronaci najbolji nacin kako ne razmisljati puno u prazno. Ma da? A da ste dali barem desetak primjera kako to napraviti, mozda bi se netko tu i nasao. Ja bas i nisam.
October 8, 2022
Couldn’t even finish the book. Extremely disappointed in the sexist/extremely stereotypical examples and way of speaking of women. I also was taken back by the way women are described. I didn’t feel it necessary to talk about their looks. Finally, describing generations younger then my grandparents and parents as entitled and don’t understand how to work hard or because we don’t know what it’s like to lose kids to diseases is a shallow and weak argument.
February 16, 2019
I picked this mostly as a procrastination short nonfiction read and didn't expect to find it this interesting. I am pretty prone to overthinking so I could relate to many of the examples and some of the strategies I already use and looking forward to having more to fall back on. It's probably not a life changing book for me, but it was informative and really good to listen to.
September 10, 2023
Knyga apie įprotį, būdingą nemažai daliai moterų - "overthinking", išverstą kaip "besaikis analizavimas".
Autorė - ekspertė, mokslininkė, atlikusi daug tyrimų šioje srityje.
Mano "skoniui" buvo per daug konkrečių pavyzdžių - jiems knygoje skiriama laaaabai daug vietos. Nebuvo itin įdomu skaityti ilgutėlius Ebės/Debės/Šerės/tt situacijų aprašymus.
Moterims, kurios linkę per daug analizuoti savo ir kitų žodžius, veiksmus, galvoti, "ką galėjau pasakyti/padaryti kitaip", šioje knygoje pateikiama konkrečių patarimų.
Autorė papasakoja, kodėl "overthinking" būdingas būtent moterims, kokios jo priežastys, kaip jį atpažinti, kokiomis priemonėmis sustabdyti ir jo išvengti.
Knygą rekomenduoja psichologai ir psichoterapeutai, praktikuojantys kognityvinę elgesio terapiją.
Autorė - ekspertė, mokslininkė, atlikusi daug tyrimų šioje srityje.
Mano "skoniui" buvo per daug konkrečių pavyzdžių - jiems knygoje skiriama laaaabai daug vietos. Nebuvo itin įdomu skaityti ilgutėlius Ebės/Debės/Šerės/tt situacijų aprašymus.
Moterims, kurios linkę per daug analizuoti savo ir kitų žodžius, veiksmus, galvoti, "ką galėjau pasakyti/padaryti kitaip", šioje knygoje pateikiama konkrečių patarimų.
Autorė papasakoja, kodėl "overthinking" būdingas būtent moterims, kokios jo priežastys, kaip jį atpažinti, kokiomis priemonėmis sustabdyti ir jo išvengti.
Knygą rekomenduoja psichologai ir psichoterapeutai, praktikuojantys kognityvinę elgesio terapiją.
August 8, 2010
Helpful in understanding whether you think too much and how to cope with that. Most women I know tend to have this issue and I think it's important to recognize and acknowledge the problem, while trying to keep it under control.
April 13, 2021
To be fair, this book was slightly off-topic from what I was looking for help with so while I didn't find the advice useful in a lot of ways that could be why. This book is mostly about how modern women can get caught in cycles of overthinking and obsessing over stressful situations and how to break out of that cycle. My issue that I was looking for help with was how to re-train my brain to recall happy memories more easily in place of recalling unpleasant past experiences. There was some advice that crossed over but a lot of it seemed inapplicable.
I had a hard time with the idea that our lives are made more difficult by a lack of value systems, and that older people are better at preventing overthinking than younger generations and that we are idolizing young people and shunning the wisdom of older generations. Personally, I'm very interested in why older people may have more peace than us and I'm very interested in hearing their advice on how to prevent over-thinking and anxiety. But, there wasn't any of that included in the book except a "give it god" snippet, which I'm not sure how to translate as I'm not religious.
Despite that the book is overall not particularly religious, a few people in the book find religion to be a calming and supporting influence in their lives but that's not the focus of the book. The advice was not bad but it just didn't apply to my situation.
I had a hard time with the idea that our lives are made more difficult by a lack of value systems, and that older people are better at preventing overthinking than younger generations and that we are idolizing young people and shunning the wisdom of older generations. Personally, I'm very interested in why older people may have more peace than us and I'm very interested in hearing their advice on how to prevent over-thinking and anxiety. But, there wasn't any of that included in the book except a "give it god" snippet, which I'm not sure how to translate as I'm not religious.
Despite that the book is overall not particularly religious, a few people in the book find religion to be a calming and supporting influence in their lives but that's not the focus of the book. The advice was not bad but it just didn't apply to my situation.
May 13, 2021
The first two parts (An epidemic of overthinking & strategies for overcoming overthinking) were interesting to read. The realisation of how our mind gets into a chain reaction of negative thoughts made me self aware. I am a huge over thinker and found this book useful. The awareness alone made me overthink less and the provided tools are helpful. I did not read the last part (Triggers for overthinking), because these triggers remind me of my own personal stuff and did not find it interesting to read. Overall, if you're looking for a self-help book that explains the reasons and the negative spiral of overthinking, this might be the one. In addition, the tools might be of use as well, because whenever I find myself overthinking, I actually put them to practice, which actually works for me.
March 4, 2022
Ce n’est pas juste un livre, c’est un mode de vie à mettre en pratique quotidiennement !
March 11, 2023
I thought this was a great book with a lot of valuable information. The concepts mirror the concepts that we try to use in the acceptance and commitment therapy model so it definitely makes sense. I don’t think reading this book one time really does it Justice and I will absolutely re-read in the future.
I only qualm with the book is the underpinnings of how “the patriarchy” or how patriarchal system either cause or further contribute to overthinking in women however this is never directly addressed head on. It true that most women tend to take on a lot of the emotional burden from those around them but it is also worth asking why. Another concept that would have been worth exploring here is Human Beings vs Human Givers and why this is important in the context of overthinking.
I only qualm with the book is the underpinnings of how “the patriarchy” or how patriarchal system either cause or further contribute to overthinking in women however this is never directly addressed head on. It true that most women tend to take on a lot of the emotional burden from those around them but it is also worth asking why. Another concept that would have been worth exploring here is Human Beings vs Human Givers and why this is important in the context of overthinking.
September 1, 2023
3.5 stars.
Ce livre a mon avis ne s'adresse pas qu'aux femmes, mais à toute personne ayant tendance à ruminer sans pouvoir s'en sortir. C'est vrai qu'il ne répond pas à toutes les questions, mais, son contenu est très riche en conseils pratiques, témoignages et résumés.
Alors, si vous vous perdez souvent dans le torrent de vos ruminations, que vous soyez femme ou homme, lisez ce livre, il vous apportera surement des réponses.
Ce livre a mon avis ne s'adresse pas qu'aux femmes, mais à toute personne ayant tendance à ruminer sans pouvoir s'en sortir. C'est vrai qu'il ne répond pas à toutes les questions, mais, son contenu est très riche en conseils pratiques, témoignages et résumés.
Alors, si vous vous perdez souvent dans le torrent de vos ruminations, que vous soyez femme ou homme, lisez ce livre, il vous apportera surement des réponses.
January 27, 2023
3.5 stars, almost 4 but not quite there
February 22, 2024
5/5
so this book has rly helped me recently. the first part pretty much explained what overthinking is and it made me realize i wasnt alone. my whole life i thought my anxiety and overthinking were so insane and ridiculous. ive been struggling in certain aspects of my life, especially in the last few years, and a few months ago i decided enough was enough and started my journey to CHILL TF OUT lol. im not gonna get into that but i feel like this book was essential in coping and reframing my negative thoughts. its even been a safe place for when im overthinking so as soon as those thoughts would appear, id go back to this book. something abt reading what i was experiencing and having it validate yet correct my perceptions was rly comforting.
i didnt read the full book bc my overthinking is only for specific areas of my life so the entire thing didnt apply to me, but i read pretty much all of part 1 and 2. part 3 had chapters dedicated to different triggers (which i very much appreciated) so i only read what was relevant.
im sorry for the rant but if you deal w anxiety and mostly overthinking, i strongly recommend it. its rly opened my eyes and ill be writing down my highlighted quotes into my journal for easy access. sometimes you just need to be reminded of your cognitive distortions lol
so this book has rly helped me recently. the first part pretty much explained what overthinking is and it made me realize i wasnt alone. my whole life i thought my anxiety and overthinking were so insane and ridiculous. ive been struggling in certain aspects of my life, especially in the last few years, and a few months ago i decided enough was enough and started my journey to CHILL TF OUT lol. im not gonna get into that but i feel like this book was essential in coping and reframing my negative thoughts. its even been a safe place for when im overthinking so as soon as those thoughts would appear, id go back to this book. something abt reading what i was experiencing and having it validate yet correct my perceptions was rly comforting.
i didnt read the full book bc my overthinking is only for specific areas of my life so the entire thing didnt apply to me, but i read pretty much all of part 1 and 2. part 3 had chapters dedicated to different triggers (which i very much appreciated) so i only read what was relevant.
im sorry for the rant but if you deal w anxiety and mostly overthinking, i strongly recommend it. its rly opened my eyes and ill be writing down my highlighted quotes into my journal for easy access. sometimes you just need to be reminded of your cognitive distortions lol
Read
November 12, 2019In the past, I've been told that I think too much and this was never meant as a compliment, so I resisted this book based on the title. It was recommended in another book I'd read, so I checked it out of the library. The sort of thinking the author is writing about here isn't deep thinking about a topic or even worrying. She's talking about being stuck in a negative thought habit about things that have happened which leads to sadness, anxiety, and depression.
I did more of a heavy skim than a word-by-word reading (hence not giving a star rating), but I did write down several long passages to reflect upon.
Near the end of the book, Nolen-Hoeksema makes the case for the need for quiet alone time to reconnect with ourselves and sort out our own values. This isn't just good for us as individuals or for our relationships, but such practice has far-reaching implications. She writes,
"We cannot, as a society, choose leaders who represent our best values if we do not, as individuals, spend the necessary quiet time discovering and refining those values. Otherwise, we end up either letting other people make choices for us or going with the candidate who has the best ad campaign. We have an obligation not only to ourselves but to current and future generations to connect with our values and make choices as a citizen that reflect these values. Again, this takes time and turning down the volume."
I checked the publication date after reading that paragraph. It was 2003.
I did more of a heavy skim than a word-by-word reading (hence not giving a star rating), but I did write down several long passages to reflect upon.
Near the end of the book, Nolen-Hoeksema makes the case for the need for quiet alone time to reconnect with ourselves and sort out our own values. This isn't just good for us as individuals or for our relationships, but such practice has far-reaching implications. She writes,
"We cannot, as a society, choose leaders who represent our best values if we do not, as individuals, spend the necessary quiet time discovering and refining those values. Otherwise, we end up either letting other people make choices for us or going with the candidate who has the best ad campaign. We have an obligation not only to ourselves but to current and future generations to connect with our values and make choices as a citizen that reflect these values. Again, this takes time and turning down the volume."
I checked the publication date after reading that paragraph. It was 2003.
November 18, 2018
Probably THE most relatable book I’ve ever read. I will probably read it over and over! One of those books that makes you say - So it’s not just me!
My brain literally never stops. In fact I routinely have two lines of thought at any given time. Not to mention any kind of visual thoughts I might be having. It can be exhausting. So when something bad is happening - or all the bad things are happening all at once like lately!! - I am definitely one to OVERTHINK. And probably to over think about the 2-3 absolute WORST possible outcomes all at once! (And overthink about overthinking). Oh joy! Aren’t you happy you aren’t in my head?
Well Susan Nolen-Hoeksma Ph.D is. She gets me. We are soul sisters! Thank God I am not the only one! And thank God she gives some super practical advice on how to just STOP! Without just telling me to get over it - because those 3 words have me overthinking for days every time! Lol - am I laughing or crying? Laughing? Oh good! It’s working then.
If your brain never stops - if you catastrophize- if your anxieties have anxieties - READ THIS BOOK.
My brain literally never stops. In fact I routinely have two lines of thought at any given time. Not to mention any kind of visual thoughts I might be having. It can be exhausting. So when something bad is happening - or all the bad things are happening all at once like lately!! - I am definitely one to OVERTHINK. And probably to over think about the 2-3 absolute WORST possible outcomes all at once! (And overthink about overthinking). Oh joy! Aren’t you happy you aren’t in my head?
Well Susan Nolen-Hoeksma Ph.D is. She gets me. We are soul sisters! Thank God I am not the only one! And thank God she gives some super practical advice on how to just STOP! Without just telling me to get over it - because those 3 words have me overthinking for days every time! Lol - am I laughing or crying? Laughing? Oh good! It’s working then.
If your brain never stops - if you catastrophize- if your anxieties have anxieties - READ THIS BOOK.
July 28, 2022
J’ai beaucoup aimé. Je n’ai pas pu me reconnaitre dans tous les chapitres (p. ex. Je n’ai pas d’enfant) néanmoins ce livre pourra me permettre de mettre en place certaines stratégies afin de mener une vie plus légère (mon cerveau vous en remercie) :)
September 7, 2020
I enjoyed this book. It not only helped me become more aware of my over thinking, and gave me ways to slow down a bit. It also helped me to see life struggles in a better light.
May 19, 2021
If you are an overthinker or worrier, this one is for you!
June 28, 2021
C'était génial, j'ai adoré ce livre. Je trouve que c'est un livre essentiel pour toutes les femmes.
January 28, 2019
I was given this book to borrow and read because it just simply transformed my best friend's life. My life, however, was not erratically changed like I was told it would be. Though, it definitely impacted me on a level that made me grateful to have read it at all.
Regardless of the altering effects it may have had on me, it took me FOREVER to finish. I understand the layout of the book and why it was done the way it was, but because of this I literally fell asleep reading this a few times.
Another detrimental flaw was the "real life stories" that were implemented throughout the whole book. There was a few I liked and felt were relate-able, but once a sentence started with "Take Jill for example," I could not help, but roll my eyes and try to prepare myself for an unrealistic circumstance. The stories were like something you would have read in school and to then be tested on.
With the negativity laid out, I am a severe over thinker. I go crazy prattling on in my mind about something simple and insignificant. This overthinking could have started with a conversation I had that I felt went negatively and explode to why I have no friends. This is dramatic of course, but has unfortunately happened. It was nice to hear this was normal and more common in women. I know if I tell my boyfriend or father about something I am worried about they think I'm crazy and weird for worrying about something so trivial.
Instead of just being told to let it go, this teaches you ways to start letting the simple and often silly things go so they don't drive you to madness in the middle of the night. I don't think the steps will be easy to follow, but a potential coping mechanism to alleviate some of the everyday stress is a blessing.
Regardless of the altering effects it may have had on me, it took me FOREVER to finish. I understand the layout of the book and why it was done the way it was, but because of this I literally fell asleep reading this a few times.
Another detrimental flaw was the "real life stories" that were implemented throughout the whole book. There was a few I liked and felt were relate-able, but once a sentence started with "Take Jill for example," I could not help, but roll my eyes and try to prepare myself for an unrealistic circumstance. The stories were like something you would have read in school and to then be tested on.
With the negativity laid out, I am a severe over thinker. I go crazy prattling on in my mind about something simple and insignificant. This overthinking could have started with a conversation I had that I felt went negatively and explode to why I have no friends. This is dramatic of course, but has unfortunately happened. It was nice to hear this was normal and more common in women. I know if I tell my boyfriend or father about something I am worried about they think I'm crazy and weird for worrying about something so trivial.
Instead of just being told to let it go, this teaches you ways to start letting the simple and often silly things go so they don't drive you to madness in the middle of the night. I don't think the steps will be easy to follow, but a potential coping mechanism to alleviate some of the everyday stress is a blessing.
February 22, 2023
DNF'd after Part II. Part III onwards was either repeated information or long passages telling stories of women who overthink. Whilst I appreciated the shorter explanations/examples, I am aware of what overthinking looks like. It's why I picked up this book. For you to give me solutions.
This book spends a very short time giving solutions, and an incredibly long time illustrating stories of other women who overthink.
Also, this book is incredibly dated and it shows. The author discusses cheating partners in marriages and somehow justifies it, the research on depression is clearly outdated, and many other things that irked me.
I just wanted solutions, not stories..
This book spends a very short time giving solutions, and an incredibly long time illustrating stories of other women who overthink.
Also, this book is incredibly dated and it shows. The author discusses cheating partners in marriages and somehow justifies it, the research on depression is clearly outdated, and many other things that irked me.
I just wanted solutions, not stories..
April 20, 2017
Puiki knyga moterims, kurios gyvenime per daug analizuoja. Jos taip panyra į analizę, kad nepajunta kaip minčių uraganas su griaunančia jėga jas nuneša toli toli. Jos ima save nuvertinti ir visiškai pasimeta, nebežinodamos kaip spręsti savo situacija. Autorė gyvais pavyzdžiais nupiešia ne viena besaikio mąstymo situaciją. Taip pat paskiria visą skyrių atrast būdus kaip sustabdyti save. Labai patiko, jog nuolat pabrėžiama kad lengvų kelių nėra. Tik nuolatinis darbas su savimi pakeis jūsų gyvenimą. Tai nuima rožinius akinius, bei skatina atrasti valios. Kaip valios šaltinis siūlomas bendravimas su vyresnio amžiaus žmonėmis.
Tikrai puiki knyga :)
Tikrai puiki knyga :)
May 24, 2023
pretty good would honestly give it a 3.5!
i liked the research aspects of this book the most. the book dropped the ball in my option a few times - i think just with feminist theory there is a lack of self actualization and responsibility
i also think this book would have been helpful for me like 7 years ago cause i dont think i struggle with some of these topics too much anymore but it was overall a helpful book for me to read
i liked the research aspects of this book the most. the book dropped the ball in my option a few times - i think just with feminist theory there is a lack of self actualization and responsibility
i also think this book would have been helpful for me like 7 years ago cause i dont think i struggle with some of these topics too much anymore but it was overall a helpful book for me to read
February 2, 2022
Doceniam sposób w jaki autorka podeszła do problemu rozpamiętywania. W książce znalazłam praktyczne wskazówki jak mogę sobie z tym radzić. Wniosek: nadmierne myślenie w niczym nie pomaga, a wręcz pogarsza sytuacje. Nie każde rady będą działać na każdego, ale jeśli łapiesz się na tak zwanym "overthinking" to kto wie? Może znajdziesz tu coś dla siebie :)
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