It’s hard being here, isn’t it? I mean, it’s O.K. I’m O.K. But it’s just hard being in a 3 D environment in a 5 D state of mind.
And, consequently, it’s hard being around others who are still deep into their story. It’s not a judgement, just a fact.
I no longer attract drama, and seem to be met with very nice folks most of the time. But even the nice folks are a little tedious to be with. There’s not much to relate to anymore. Superficial conversation goes just so far. I get physically weary if I engage too long.
So, consequently, I hang out at home most of the time. And at Starbucks, and hope no one will invade my space.
So it gets boring and it gets lonely. Not a sad, existential loneliness any more. But just a kind of solitary-ness, if that’s a word.
I’m O.K. with it most of the time. I prefer it to being entangled with others I can no longer relate to. Make no mistake, their tendrils seek to find me, energetically, but I can no longer support their need to be fed.
I fully honor my choice to be solitary.
Most of my life I craved the need to be alone, or at least most of the time, even when I was in relationships. So it’s not that new for me to seek solitude. Sacred sovereignty.
There is talk about re-emerging into the 3 D world as we awaken, and using our new skills and abilities as we reconnect with others. But for me, I sense the opposite. I sense I will become more reclusive. It just makes sense.
I don’t think I can do this transformation while one foot is still in 3 D consciousness. I don’t know how that would work.
Again, it’s not a judgement, it’s just science. I can’t imagine being in a 3 D consciousness, like a regular job, for example, on a regular basis.
We see our non-physical friends being channeled, and they can hang around only so long here before they begin to feel sucked into the dense, gravity-laden Earth environment.
So we are not immune to that same gravity.
I once described being awakened as dying, coming back to earth, and being invisible to those around us. Oh, they may see us and sense us with their physical senses, but they don’t recognize us.
We are like ghosts, waving our hands back and forth in front of their faces, but they are not able to see us. Like in the movies, where the angel comes to earth to assist humans but the angel can do only so much, because the human has free will.
The angel is invisible except to those that have the eyes to see.
We are here, but we no longer have a dog in the race. Game over. So the question remains, now what? We are detached. Will we feel more soul passion, for lack of a better phrase, as time goes on?
Because we are definitely feeling less human passion, or, I am. I will speak for myself.
I am feeling more of a sensual bliss, more often, and it is amazing. It’s nothing like I have ever felt before. And I suspect it’s what we have to look forward to.
It’s full-bodied. It’s sensual. It engages all of our human senses, and then some. It’s being in the moment, and not caring about the past or the future one iota. In that moment I know who I am, and why I am here. I know I am being taken care of.
I could be at home, taking a walk, or sitting at the cafe. It doesn’t matter where I am in those moments.
In those moments I am experiencing my I AM completely.
I have created music, produced many songs and albums, and distributed them world-wide. I have created thousands of artworks. I have written hundreds of articles and stories.
As good as all that feels, and has felt, it still doesn’t compare to that blissed-out state. Everything else pales in comparison.
Maybe because in those moments, I am my self. I am the ultimate artist, infusing themself into their masterpiece, their human body and their human environment.
And in those moments I get to taste first hand this environment in a way that is impossible in the non-physical.
Maybe those moments are why I stay here. Why I am still here, walking this often solitary road.
Enjoy, The Speed of Love from Cosmic Blend
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Great great blog Maria. I so so know what you mean! Being in 3D feels like wearing cement shoes. I prefer being alone too. The bliss I can feel is out of this world (3D anyway).
My mom passed away the other day. I’ve been detaching from her for years. She had made me her emotional caretaker and I stopped that role a while ago. I have 3 brothers, so I’m the only girl. The last time I saw her the other day, she talked about how I didn’t emulate her in a certain way. I knew it was about her, but it still stung. But the very cool thing is, I was able to go home, feel the sting, and truly be there and re-parent my little girl, which is what I’ve been doing for a while. My mother was too wounded to ever validate me and love me. I know she did what she could do. It was a gift she gave me before she died because I had forgotten about the situation and I was able to go back to the energy of that situation and be there for my little girl, allow her to feel it and be there and love her through it. It was so enlightening!
Wow, the energy I’ve been feeling lately is off the charts.
Sherry
Sherry, reading your comment gave me goose bumps, in a good way. I am so happy you shared this experience with us. It’s a beautiful example of releasing the old role of caregiving, especially toward the mother.
You’re definitely speaking on behalf of so many women.
And nurturing your little girl. So, so important. I have been doing the same. She is becoming more and more in my consciousness these days, as a loving and playful presence.
Now that your mother has passed, I am sure in time you will have a much more balanced relationship with her. Now that the mother-daughter stuff isn’t there to interfere.
Because that’s what has happened with me and my mom.
Big hugs 🤗💕💕💕💕
So your mom has passed Maria? I’m psychic so I wouldn’t doubt that I would be in contact one day. The feeling I get about her right now is that she’s healing. She’s got tons to heal. I always felt like I was the adult in the relationship. I’m sure I’ve been talked about not fulfilling my “role” by my brothers. But that’s okay. That’s their problem. I created a space in the family and they didn’t know how to fill it. They tried to pull me back into the mix, but I wouldn’t go there.
Its amazing all the shit I’m noticing about all of them with her death. Not surprised at all though. I just need to stay out of the fray.
I had a very illuminating lunch with my dad yesterday. He’s different with my now that she’s passed. He’s 92.
They also had a caretaker who so reminded me of my mom! She’s very controlling, manipulative, and very passive aggressive. I got her game a long time ago. Us empaths just KNOW and I know I don’t have to explain that to anyone! I tried to stay away from her, but the other night she was a bitch and that was it. I tried to talk to her about it, but she couldn’t go there. She has no clue I can see what she does. I don’t think she knows what she does; she’s very unconscious. So I called her on it the next day. she acted like a victim, but that was it, I was done.
Interesting I talked to hospice about the caretaker and they said they have the most trouble with the caretakers! They think they’re in control. Hospice has more trouble with caretakers than families of those who have passed. Confirmation from the Universe!
Whether my unconscious brothers want to see what I saw in the caretaker is none of my business. They’re unconscious also. After all, she operates like my mom. I just keep reminding myself not to pick up the tug of war rope.
A cool thing that happened at the end of my lunch with my father was he called me a “free spirit”. He has no clue how free I am!
Mmmm…So interesting, Sherry. All the family dynamics. Yes, I opted out of the family drama a while back. It does make it easier once our parents croak, no disrespect to them.
My mom passed a couple of decades ago, and, like you, it felt like I was her mother. And I carried a lot of her sadness with me up until about a year ago. I let it go, and it feels like I am 100 pounds lighter. I know she is proud of me and is excited that I am walking a path that will assist her to come back to Earth and experience more freedom as a woman.
Our moms just got caught up in what most women are caught up in. And they didn’t know how to get out. We do, and it’s why we are here. To walk this earth as free and sovereign beings who happen to be women. We are the rare humans who had the courage and the capacity to let go of our stories, and to be the enlightened women.
And as we set free our story, we are setting free our mother’s, and their mother’s, on down the line. Our entire ancestral lineage. It’s amazing.
Wow Maria! Our relationships with our mothers sound very similar. No disrespect taken. I know what happens when we give up our physical vehicles. Sadly, non of my family of origin do. Its funny, I talked to my dad about this yesterday. He brought up someone who had a near death experience! What a surprise he talked to his psychic daughter about this! He doesn’t know my consciousness.
Yes, my mom had a lot of depression, anger, and TONS of fear.
Yes, our mothers got caught up in the patriarchy of their time. Yes, I feel honored to know that I know how to. Wow, are we rare! Sometimes I think are you sure you haven’t given me more than I can handle?!!!!!!! But then I rise up and know I can.
Yes, we are setting free our lineage. What helped me tons (in one of many ways) is reading Bethany Webster’s website womboflight.com. She had the same kind of mother. She helped me understand the emotional caretaking role I took on. I know this 20 years ago, but seeing it in writing was so freeing.
We are so amazing!
Wow. This sounds like what is going on in my head EVERY DAY. I often say…”how am I supposed to do this? What is next?” I don’t know….so happy there are others in the same space.
You are definitely not alone, Cosmic Cas. 💕💕💕
Beautiful, both your post and your music. There are many just like you. Keep shining beautiful light. Sending a ❤️-full hug from the energetic realms.
Thank you, my friend. 💕💕💕
Maria I second cosmic cas–what you wrote is the same as my days. I kept thinking I could have wrote it but you articulated it better than I could! When I got to the part about reemerging into 3D I thought/felt “noooooooo! Yuck!” I can’t imagine why or how I’d do that. I feel like it makes no sense either and I’m thinking more like we’ll be going forward into something entirely new, not just enduring 3D better. I haven’t felt the bliss in a while and I’m missing it–i think if we could just integrate that and feel it more consistently that would certainly work! I hope that is what is happening. And I hope what we are moving towards is far more amazing and delightful and fulfilling than I can imagine from this standpoint.
I got flattened last night by another energy surge and am still recovering and don’t have much energy to find words……
But Sherry I just want to say I feel you. I had the same relationship with my mom as you and maria, and she passed just over a year ago. I so understand the sting right up to the end and the siblings, etc. Like Maria says, it does get better. It actually opens a new door for processing or releasing the old stuff. I had been living with my mom for a few years looking after her and while I had detached as much as possible emotionally and knew her game well, it was a constant challenge for me that took a ton of energy and I’m sure you get that even when your not living under the same roof! But now the processing is easier and so is reparenting the little girl that just wanted a loving mommy to hug her and help her feel loved and OK and protected. And I’ve realized too that no one is mean to me anymore.
So dear Sherry I’m sending you and your little girl an extra warm hug from me and my little girl. We will all heal and we are already so much freer than our mothers could have even dreamed ❤💕❤💕❤
And Maria as usual thank you for the clarity you bestow when you so skillfully put my own feelings into words. Even after the pummeling from yet another surge it was a HUGE treat to start my day with a perfect latte and this perfect post from you. This space and the people here help me to keep going for sure. Love to you dear friend ❤🐸❤
Haha, Elila, “nooooooo,” indeed!
I’m glad you enjoyed the start of your day with this post….thank goddess I had a little spark to write it, since I too have been feeling the lull. 💕
Heh heh heh…..”lull” ……that may be just the teeeeeensiest understatement ……😝😝😝
Aw thank you Elila! I saw even the last time I saw her she was criticizing me and I realized it was about her and me not being a mini her, which helped me go home and write and be there for my little girl with feeling I hadn’t remembered that hurt me. She really helped me heal in a weird sort of way.
I hug you right back. Thank you! Yes, much freer!
I think I want to print this article and carry with me whenever I go dear Maria! I identify so much with it! As you said about reconnecting with others in 3d while we’re awaken I still try to talk this talking cause my moment asks for it, but I must say that it’s really hard. I prefer so much dive in myself and I don’t feel that this is wrong or selfish, I just am.. and this is hard to explain and to be honest, I don’t want to anymore! So I must say that I understand it! Lots of love to you. ❤
Tainara, thank you for allowing yourself the self-love without guilt. As women especially we are treading new territory when we exercise this self-love. When we care about ourselves without explanation or justification. When we stop worrying about what anyone else thinks about us. We begin to know who we are and we recognize our own magnificence.
Some of those people who think we are being selfish will seek us out some day when their own lives are upside down and they will want to know what our secret is.
Lots of love to you too. 💕💕💕
yes exactly! and now I’m not even waiting on them anymore. I am finally learning how to enjoy little moments with myself. And I could never had notice before how demanding I am for my own attention! 😂😂
Lots of love ❤
Indeed, Tainara. It’s time now to give OURSELVES the attention we deserve. Then sharing that joy in any way that feels good to us. But ONLY if it feels good, and ONLY when we are filled up first. 💕
Maria,
Thanks for expressing so eloquently what so many of us are feeling. On the one hand, retreating into our own personal sanctuaries feels isolating and lonely, at times, and on the other hand, it’s a vital step in our ascension process. So much more than meets the eye is going on. We are processing so much on so many levels, that all one is capable of doing at times is to sit and be (and sleep!).
There is just no getting around the fact that whoever we used to be is gone. She has died. That ‘person’, along with her (old) sense of reality, has left the building, along with Elvis. The new being we are becoming is still in flux. Because she is so new – a radical departure from her predecessor – a self-imposed lock down is needed to allow the monumental inner transformations taking place to occur.
I do get the sense that we will be emerging from our cocoons soon. I know that word “soon” can be irritating in ascension circles (cue the impending doom articles currently out there about the upcoming eclipse energies and more clearings!), but we have done all the hard work. The worst is behind us. We know that. Deeply. Now it’s time to step into ease, flow, miracles, grace, abundance, joy and, of course, love – however we allow it all to manifest in our lives.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it (today! hee hee).
Love to all,
Lisa
Haha Lisa I think I will stick to your story too! All well said and true for me as well–i have felt for years that the old me died and have resonated deeply with the cocoon/chrysalis process—but DAAAAAYUM who knew it would take soooooo looooong??? Lol. I have been getting throttled every night for the last four nights with energy surges, last night was the worst and my head is still hurting today–and we haven’t even gotten to all this eclipse nonsense yet! I’m a little concerned–i don’t think I can take much more! Sometimes just sitting and being (&sleeping!) even feels difficult. I’m so very READY for that ease, flow, miracles, grace, abundance, joy, love…..how about some vibrant health, inspiration and unprecedented delight to round that out? No one can say we haven’t been patient!! The word “soon” certainly can be annoying given how long we have heard it (&prayed for it haha) but I’m still clinging to it for dear life lol.
Love back to you ❤
Hear ya, Elila. I, too, worry about how much more I can take. They say we don’t get more than we can handle, but this is really pushing it. Inspiration (even just a little!) would be nice too. Residing indefinitely in some sort of cosmic ‘protective custody’ at the corner of Flatline Road and Weird Lane, feeling lost and confused about, well EVERYTHING, is growing old as well. Something’s gotta give!!! (I tried to stay high vibe since my last comment, but today was an “ebb” sorta day. 😲)
Yes, solitary is the answer and if I’m too long on the Net, or go out to get groceries, etc., I feel overwhelmed with what I just do not vibe with when it comes to WTF is happening ‘out there’. But, Maria, there is something I wanted to say about politics and politicians in general, if that’s okay. I realize from some of your posts that you were and still are an Obama supporter. I remember well when Mr. Obama got voted in as President. It was stated that the first executive order that he would sign (and I watched him sign something just after he was inaugurated) would be to close Guantanamo (GITMO) and the horrendous activities there would end. I was thrilled, so pleased and believed like thousands did in the States and here in Canada that at last the US had a President who would stop the atrocities. I believed that Mr. Obama would bring the troops home, that he would enable the American people, and thus, because of his power, enable so many to be a part of and understand the true meaning of your American Constitution and our Canadian Charter. So what happened? Guantanamo was not only NOT closed, it was expanded and there are still people there to this day who are imprisoned and god knows what kind of treatment they are getting. Fast forward to Mr. Trump. Yes, I can see what you are saying from the Divine Feminine when I see Melania’s fists clenched at every public outing and I do understand that it’s possible that he is as fake as Mr. Obama (at least to me) turned out to be as his elected terms went on, so where does that leave us? Solitary and quiet, except that we who are awake have an Ace up our sleeves and that is that we are aware and we will make our non-violent, from our Hearts move when the timing is right. I have a feeling, and I don’t like it much especially as I see so many websites supporting what is happening with Mr. Trump as he MAGA, that his hammer will fall if he is elected for a second term. Mr. Obama’s hammer fell within hours of his being elected. Mr. Trump may have been advised to have his hammer on hold till the majority of the US population begins to trust him, just as I, and so many others did with Mr. Obama. Sometime ago Kat mentioned words to the effect that “this forum (your blog) may not be the place for politics” and Maria, I have to agree. We need to support each other for no other reason than we are done with politics… not to mention we’re still doing the ascension, Soul embodiment dance and all that entails emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and now, to me, most importantly, truthfully, in all that I encounter whether ‘out there’ or on the Net. Love, B.
Barbara, it’s so interesting that you commented about politics and politicians, because even before reading your comment, I was thinking about how politics is such a corrupt institution, and has been for a very long time, and that decisions made by so called great and so called terrible Presidents and political leaders are in many cases bad decisions.
But what I find also interesting is that I Credit the ones who recognize their decisions as the wrong ones in retrospect, and who have learned from them.
I was thinking that there would not ever be the perfect person for these high offices because they are still in a system of duality and are still themselves not fully conscious beings.
A fully conscious being couldn’t be in such a dualistic system, such as politics, and survive.
But some were more conscious than others. I saw Obama as such an individual, in spite of some of his decisions.
And I agree I don’t want to get into political discussions here on the blog, and I have stated that in some of the posts that I wrote involving political figures. But you notice that I use the subject matter as a analogy to how the mind can become stuck in fear.
And I also wanted to show how disowning the feminine creates such a huge imbalance on the planet.
It’s not to show who is the better politician necessarily, but to bring into my discussions the duality that we live alongside using a higher perspective. Which we on the leading edge of the new consciousness certainly have.
You’ve probably noticed that I discuss the feminine often, primarily because I am passionate about helping to bring back a balance to the planet that has been patriarchal for a very long time.
But, yes, the political system is a reflection of that imbalance, and will continue to be until a balanced masculine and feminine is struck. And I often draw analogies between that imbalance and the mind. That even in our ascension, the mind will try to convince us that there are unfounded fears that we need protection from, not unlike the fears that Trump especially incites in his followers.
But I agree with you, we have moved beyond what is happening in the world outside our door, and our job is not to do anything about any of that. That is just humanity going through its own process.
Thank you, Maria, for your gentle and wise response. In my solitude I do not experience what I understand is described as bliss. In moments, which sometimes expand to hours and even, once ; )… to a full day, I experience what I can only describe as peace of mind. To hold onto that feeling for longer stretches of time is my goal. In that state there is no divisiveness, no duality, simply a calmness… perhaps something like the peace that passes understanding. I’m not oblivious to what is going on ‘out there’, I’m resting from it in that serenity. I read a great line the other day, or at least it resonated with me… “Bless your mind and don’t listen to it.” That gave my sense of humor a little fun! Love, B.
And thank you, Barbara, for your wisdom. 💕
real life Spirit, you need the inspiration, it’s why your a little bee, going flower to flower, till you find the sweetest one, great post