If practice makes perfect, the wedding of Ron van Houwelingen and Antony McManus on Tuesday should go off without a hitch.
The couple have committed to each other in 16 unofficial wedding ceremonies, but this will be the first legal marriage, and one of the first in Australia since marriage equality was legalised in December.
Although a few gay weddings have occurred with special dispensation, the 30-day waiting period to marry after lodging official notice means most same-sex couples have had to wait until 9 January to tie the knot.
Van Houwelingen and McManus met 30 years ago while studying performing arts at Prahran Tafe in Melbourne. The wedding will be held where they met, at the David Williamson Theatre, now part of Melbourne Polytechnic.
“Our first wedding was on our sixth anniversary, that was a big deal with family and friends,” Van Houwelingen said.
“Most of the others have been more protests – we’ve renewed our vows at rallies, married on TV and on radio. They’ve been a statement in the fight for marriage equality.”
Marriage “feels very different” this time round, he said. “We’ve had 16 ceremonies – it’s the first legal one though!”
Both worked with Equal Love, a campaign group that has organised demonstrations in favour of marriage equality, for eight years and always planned to officially marry as soon as it was legal.
The couple have invited 120 guests, but Van Houwelingen won’t give away the secret of their special vows except to say that their celebrant, Coral Teague, has forbade them from recycling lines from the earlier ceremonies.
And how does it feel to be among the first?
“It feels amazing,” Van Houwelingen said. “We’ve been involved in the fight for so long - it’s an important message that we’ve finally achieved some sort of equality.”
They won’t be the first to marry on Tuesday.
One of the first ceremonies took place overnight near Tweed Heads, where athletes Craig Burns and Luke Sullivan timed their proceedings so the marriage would become official minutes after midnight.
Three hours behind in Perth, Gillian Brady and Lisa Goldsmith married at The Court.
A Melbourne wedding business, the Altar Electric, helped Teegan Daly and Mahatia Minniecon marry at midnight.
They were engaged in 2015 and held a commitment ceremony in 2016. Daly said they already consider themselves married, so it’s another case of the law catching up with LGBTI relationships.
“We decided to have a commitment ceremony and called it our wedding,” she said. “We got sick of waiting. We wanted to be able to have the wedding with the dresses, the fairy tale.
“We felt like it was never going to happen, so we went ahead and did it ... we actually can’t believe only a year later and it’s actually happened!”
The couple have invited 40 guests but the wedding is open to the public, so it could be a big one.
“To us this isn’t just our wedding – we’ve been married for a year – it’s a celebration for everyone in the community to celebrate a new era, it’s massive, it’s a change for the future,” Daly said.
But she said it felt “kind of creepy” being one of the first because both she and Minniecon were usually very private people.
“Most of our friends are in very long term relationships, but they’re in no rush. For so long it was never an option, so a lot of people in the community never considered it.
“Now that it’s legal, our friends are taking their time. It’s a serious thing, people don’t just say ‘oh it’s legal let’s get married’.”
