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293 pages, Hardcover
First published December 10, 2007
"Suddenly Alice's face fell. "Oh dear. I hope you're not going to get bored in here, with only me to talk to."
"No!" said Neil. "Not at all. Please don't think that. Actually, I was just thinking the same thing myself. I mean, you, about me. I mean, you getting bored."
"Oh no," whispered Alice. "I don't find you boring at all, Neil. Not a bit."
In the kind of novels that Neil sometimes read in secret, this would be the moment when the hero took the heroine into his arms, pressed his lips roughly to hers, and then ravished her.
"I've got Scrabble on my Palm Pilot," he said. "Multiplayer."