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348 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 8, 2018
Alex briefly thanked God and shady mechanics for illegally tinted windows, and leaned over the center console to hold Mitch’s face in his hands. “I love you,” he said firmly. “I love you.” He kissed the corner of Mitch’s mouth. “I love you.” Kissed the other corner.
“I was so lost before I met you.”
“No—”
“I was. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be. Cody said he knew, but I didn’t believe it. And then you came, and you insisted that I be myself if I wanted anything to do with you. I didn’t know how to do that and I was afraid you wouldn’t like me.” Mitch played with Alex’s sleeve. “But you make me feel safe. And just by being you, by being patient and kind and nonjudgmental and basically the most reliable and steady person I’ve ever met, you let me be me. Let me find myself. And it turns out, you do like who I am,” he finished in a whisper.”
“Tilting his head back, Mitch sighed softly and clamped his legs around Alex’s hips. “I’ve missed you too. Being here is…”
Alex kissed him gently. “It makes us feel more real.”
“Yeah.” Mitch’s eyebrows pulled together in that way he had that told Alex he was surprised Alex understood him so easily. “I don’t know why, though.”
“Maybe because,” Alex said, kissing the fingertips of one hand, “it’s just us here. No parents, no roommates. And we can just…”
“Be.”
“Yeah.” Alex brushed his thumb over Mitch’s lips. “We can just be.”
Throwing his head back, Alex laughed long and loud, the sound reaching into Mitch and settling in the vicinity of his heart. He, Mitch, had done that—made Alex laugh so hard he almost fell off the car.
With arts and crafts supplies still scattered on the table and the Christmas tree lights shining cheerily, they fell asleep curled into each other and only woke briefly in the middle of the night to crawl into Alex’s bed, where they promptly went back to sleep with Mitch in Alex’s arms.
He’d joked with himself that he’d miss Alex like a limb. Truth was, Alex had stolen a piece of his heart that he didn’t want back. It was Alex’s, for better or worse.
Now, two days after Mitch’s arrival, Alex wanted. He didn’t want sex with Mitch, not really. Not yet. But he wanted to kiss Mitch’s lips, to trace his eyebrows, run his thumbs over Mitch’s cheekbones, caress his skin, lave his nipples, bury his face in Mitch’s neck and inhale his scent, his taste. He wanted to hold Mitch in his arms and dance with him, sleep curled around him, hold his hand, cuddle with him, spend hours talking to him late into the night, play hockey with him.
Mitch grabbed Alex’s wrist. ❝You didn’t tell me you’re friends with pro players.❞
Alex peered at Mitch in confusion. ❝Honey, I am a pro player.❞
oh mitch, never change please 🫶
The way Mitch focused all of his attention on Alex when they were together made Alex feel like he was the center of Mitch’s universe. Mitch had a way of making the world seem brighter, less intense.
“I’m not laughing at him,” Cody finally calmed enough to say. “I’m laughing at you.”
Mitch threw a pillow at his so-called best friend. “Why?”
“Alex is demi.” Cody grinned and placed the pillow behind his head. “That’s fucking perfect. Means you can’t be anything but real with him, otherwise he won’t give you the time of day. It’s so completely opposite to your usual screw ‘em and leave ‘em routine. Man, he’s going to be so good for you. He’s going to turn you inside out and upside down. I can’t wait to see it.”
“I didn’t make the best first impression—” or second or third, “—but for some reason, he still wanted to be friends.”
“Sounds like a smart guy,” his dad said. “Knows to look past the surface to who a person really is underneath.”Mitch didn’t look too thrilled at the idea. “I’m not much of a winger.”
“You’re a left winger.”
“Oh my God.” Mitch buried his face in his hands. “That was so bad.”
Mildly insulted, Alex said, “What? No, that was clever. Laugh, damn it. It was funny.”
Mitch laughed, but Alex had a feeling it was at him and not at his joke. Still, the sense of rightness that hit Alex at making Mitch laugh made him feel like a fucking superhero.
Lame, but true.“I try and record the important stuff, so I never forget, but also the mundane to remind me that life isn’t always about ups and downs. Sometimes it’s just a steady journey, and that’s okay too.”