Counseling
Issues
with Recognized and Unrecognized Gifted Adults,
With
Six Case
Studies
by
Mary Rocamora
ABSTRACT:
This article describes the issues most frequently encountered in
therapy
with gifted and talented adults, particularly those in the performing
arts.
A distinction is drawn between those clients who knew they were gifted
and those who at first did not.
Issues
and characteristic of both groups, are examined. Six representative
clients
contribute their personal retrospectives on the work that they did in
therapy,
which made greater self-actualization possible.
It
is enormously valuable for therapists who work with gifted adults to
stay
abreast of developments in research, developmental theory, and
therapeutic
applications. "Advanced Development" has made a great deal of such
material
accessible so that we therapists can develop a broader understanding of
what giftedness is and how we can best serve gifted clients.
Specific
to
therapeutic considerations, in Volume 1, Dr. Kathleen D. Noble, in
"Living
Out the Promise of High Potential: Perceptions of 100 Gifted Women,"
provides
many insights about gifted girls and women that would greatly enhance
any
therapist's efforts to help female clients attain their full
potential.
Also
in Volume
1, Nancy Alvarado, in "Adjustment of Gifted Adults," shares her
observations
about the issues of gifted individuals from a counselor's perspective,
and Dr. Kay Ogburn Colangelo describes a counseling application of the
Theory of Positive Disintegration. In Volume 2, Dr. Deirdre V. Lovecky,
in "Warts and Rainbows: Issues in the Psychotherapy of the Gifted,"
describes
the traits of gifted individuals and suggests some helpful therapeutic
approaches.
In
Volume 3,
Barbara Kerr and Charles D. Claiborn, in "Counseling Talented Adults,"
offer insights helpful to those providing career counseling for
talented
adults, and Annemarie Roeper, in "Gifted Adults: Their Characteristics
and Emotions," provides her own observations about gifted adults and
their
special needs.
This
article
is based on my own experience over the last 13 years counseling
multi-talented
performers, writers, metaphysicians, and people who were clearly gifted
in self-transformation. I have worked extensively with two types of
gifted
clients: those who knew they were gifted and were highly
self-actualizing
in their field, and those whose giftedness was unrecognized, masked,
under-utilized,
or thwarted in some way.
I
have always
had a screening process for clients. My selection process is geared so
that I can pour myself into each client, working in-depth and providing
a high level of care. Individuals who are excessively needy or
dependent,
rigidified in their belief systems, or resistant to connecting to their
feelings are not appropriate for my work.
They
are generally
referred to reputable therapists with whom they can work at a basic
level.
The ideal client for transformational therapy is one who has acquired a
general understanding of his or her psychological issues from previous
therapy. The work proceeds at a faster rate if the client has heroic
personal
courage and integrity, and is exceptionally focused and energetic.
Clients
who
are perfectionistic about their personal development are more likely to
hold an ideal vision to work toward and will present an exciting
challenge
for me.
The
following
descriptions represent some of my observations regarding the many
gifted
adults I have worked with over the years, and the stretching I have had
to do to accommodate my vision of their needs. Six of my current
clients
have contributed their personal accounts to illustrate this article,
describing
the work we have done together. They are a representative sampling of
many
clients who have had similar issues.
KNOWING
ONE
IS GIFTED
Simply
knowing
one is gifted often opens a floodgate of energy. Clients who came to
therapy
with established gifted identities were characteristically passionate,
intense, and unafraid to unleash the shadow side of their personality.
[See Advanced Development Volume 2, p. 19, for a definition of "the
shadow"
in Jung's system.] They were solidly connected to their inner vision,
and
seemed able to pursue that vision despite self-doubt and
self-criticism.
They
pursued
their psychological development with the same perfectionism and
perseverance
that they invested in the development of their talents. They were
constantly
challenging me in their search for deeper understanding of themselves,
of their areas of special ability, and of the world around them. They
tended
to be freely playful, original, and idiosyncratic, and were highly
responsive
to being presented with new developmental possibilities. Many of the
multi-talented
lead larger-than-life lives.
UNIQUE
ISSUES
OF CLIENTS WHO KNOW THEY ARE GIFTED
Self-identified
gifted clients share many psychological issues with the general client
population, from the typical unresolved childhood conflicts, to incest,
abuse, addiction, and clinical depression. However, these gifted
clients
had other issues that were unique to them, related to their giftedness.
One
of the true
inner torments for self-actualizing gifted clients is the struggle to
create
in the face of creative blocks. These blocks can manifest in a number
of
forms. For example, I have a very gifted young client who is a veteran
actress, dancer-choreographer, singer-songwriter, and artist.
Her
father is
a well-known character actor and artist and her mother is an extremely
successful agent for child actors. My client herself has been a working
professional since childhood and writes about how misapplied
perfectionism
can cause a creative block:
"I
come from
an exceedingly gifted family. Each member is highly successful,
intellectually,
personally, professionally and especially creatively. Creative
exploration
was encouraged and rewarded in my family...[However], the older I got
and
the more proficient I became in the professional creative world of
entertaining,
the more my own parental eye became a judgmental eye.
Less
focus was
directed toward the joy and experimentation of the creative process and
more focus was placed on the outcome, the product. Because my early
childhood
environment was so stimulated with the creative process I could feel
that
something was becoming stagnant inside of me. By focusing on the 'goal'
I was missing out on the journey. Without that journey there was no
joy.
And, without joy there was no motivation to continue my creative
struggle.
The process continued in spite of my result-oriented parental eye, but
this kind of process was jolting, incohesive, and aggravating.
"Because
I was
raised in a hyperfunctional, perfectionistic environment I had to go
beyond
mere immersion in the creative process and determine personal
boundaries
for my creative critic. Otherwise, that critic was threatening to
destroy
all the magic inside of me, my instrument...Through my work with Mary I
have been more successful in understanding, creating and enforcing
those
personal boundaries, boundaries that protect me from my own inner
critic
as well as other people who try to judge and interfere with my creative
process and endeavors. I have learned that my gifts are my children and
I must nurture and love them unconditionally."
Clients
who
are passionately engaged with their talent but are constantly separated
from the creative experience by relentless self-criticism, self-doubt,
and feelings of inferiority often suffer from another type of block. It
is often accompanied by depression and the periodic shutting down of
their
spontaneous creative impulses. This a familiar issue and I see it most
often in actors. Here therapeutic intervention helps the client to hear
the critical voice loud and clear and feel the separation from self
that
it produces, so a technique can be devised to heal that separation once
it is noticed.
Another
block
that I have frequently encountered results from repressive, regimented
early educational environments. The client is left with an
"internalized
teacher" that demands forced learning. Clients find themselves joyless
and slowed in learning new skills that would enrich their creative
development,
caused by massive resistance from the "inner child." This is intensely
frustrating for people who are aware of and practice their giftedness.
Therapy must be extended to relearning how to learn in a spirit of
play,
relaxation, and experimentation.
Clients
who
know they are gifted can also be fiercely protective of their vision.
Therapy
can help the client ascertain how to honor that vision and how and when
to compromise with other creative contributors in collaborative
endeavors.
Some examples include developing a performance piece, writing a novel
with
input from the publisher's editor, and making a movie.
When
gifted
performers ascend to fame and on-the-street recognizability, they face
increased levels of public exposure. They are often overwhelmed by
public
expectations, loss of privacy, and the fear of public humiliation if
their
imperfections are disclosed to the press.
The
therapist
needs to help clients create a manageable lifestyle that is conducive
to
maintaining as much privacy as possible and to develop a personal
stance
regarding adverse publicity. Another common issue among the newly
famous
is that family members often begin to put pressure on them to provide
undeserved
career opportunities or supplement their incomes with the client's
newfound
wealth.
Also,
family
members are likely to want to live vicariously through their celebrity
child or sibling. In addition, when gifted performers get too rich, too
famous, too fast, their lives are prone to spinning out of control and
that, too, can become an important issue in therapy. Substance abuse,
giving
too much power to managers and agents, and buying a lifestyle too big
for
one's abilities to manage are problems that I frequently see.
Many
gifted
performers crave public recognition because it fuels their creative
process.
A major preoccupation of gifted performers is the struggle to find
their
way into the company of their peers so that their talents can flourish.
Becoming famous and respected almost certainly brings opportunities to
work with other gifted individuals.
Other
gifted
performers seek a wider public arena because they associate larger
recognition
with feeling more fulfilled. This drive is often misunderstood by this
type of client and can be subverted by self-defeating psychological
beliefs.
A
very talented
client had attained enormous success as a working actress and doing
voice-overs
for commercials and cartoons. She also wrote and performed a cabaret
act
featuring songs and her own original jokes. She crashed into a wall of
frustration and depression several years ago and sought to understand
why
she couldn't seem to break through into larger public recognition
despite
her driving hard work and the critical acclaim she received for her
cabaret
act.
We
discovered
her belief that, "One strives and suffers, then someone will eventually
give you your big break, and with that fame comes the promised joy." It
became apparent to her that she was trapped in an obvious set-up for
her
creativity to be linked with struggle and disappointment.
The
centerpiece
of our work was to break down this belief and focus her creativity on a
project that gave her joy throughout the process rather than expecting
the joy to come in the form of a big career break. She had studied to
be
an opera singer as a young woman, and she absolutely loved singing
technically
challenging arias.
To
begin to
express her talent with ongoing joy, she returned to study opera with
her
voice teachers, a couple who has an outstanding record of training
great
(and famous) voices. With much support and encouragement, her original
nightclub act, which had always been her collection basket for
disappointment,
has been reborn as "Stand-Up Opera," a show she created for her own
pleasure.
The
show presents
a dazzling rendition of her favorite arias, interspersed with jokes
about
opera's many ridiculous plots and ill-fated heroines, and hilarious
anecdotes
about operatic performances gone awry. Not surprisingly, her newfound
passion
and enthusiasm shines through, and audiences and critics alike have
reacted
with wild enthusiasm. This is how she now relates to her talent as a
result
of her hard work in therapy:
"This
voice,
which I now recognize as a gift, is a strange, powerful, and ephemeral
thing, thrilling and frightening at times. It's my first thought when I
wake up in the morning. How will it act? Has it gone away?....My
practice
sessions have become vital to me. They are my therapy--they make me
feel
more like myself, a 'myself' that I hadn't been consistently plugged
into
since I was a small girl.
"I
had had glimpses
over the years, fleeting, though. It's my barometer of joy and I don't
need someone to listen to it to get the joy. When I do share it with
others
it's a totally different experience than I ever had performing my night
club act, which was always such a letdown when no one did anything for
me as a result. I've found just in my limited experience with the show
over the past year that people respond to this sound energy in a
completely
visceral way. Now the focus in performing feels like it's off me
personally
and more on the mutual experience to be shared...I feel blessed to be a
carrier."
After
doing
a play this summer at the Williamstown Theater Festival, she observes:
"Many
actors
are aware of this same joy in their work. They are flying (the good
ones)
on stage, linked with the rest of the ensemble and creating a circle of
energy that encompasses the audience and draws them into the
experience.
You can feel it in the room. You're doing the feeling for them. Your
job
is to wake them up--to make them feel something."
UNIDENTIFIED
GIFTED CLIENTS
Unlike
the clients
I've just discussed, gifted adults who are unrecognized as such
initially
need to accept the possibility that they might be gifted. I have found
many of these clients resistant to having that label applied to
them.
Some
have a
stereotyped idea of what "gifted" means and find that description
incompatible
with their self-concept. For others, their resistance can be attributed
to fear of failure to live up to the label. Those clients whose core
identity
is based in shame, or who polarize from anything that would tend to
make
them feel superior to others, also have a hard time being called
gifted.
Once it is explained that giftedness is not identified by high
intelligence
alone, that there is a personality profile attendant to giftedness, the
resistance begins to yield and a new sense of identification
emerges.
Nancy
Alvarado,
in "Adjustment of Gifted Adults," mentioned earlier, (Advanced
Development,
Vol.1, p. 77) provides a well-developed overview of such currently
accepted
characteristics as divergent thinking ability, excitability,
sensitivity,
perceptivity, entelechy, perfectionism, and introversion.
It
is helpful
for unidentified gifted clients to spend some of their therapy dollar
on
understanding the reasons why their talents were not recognized or
mirrored
as children and what has stifled them from fully actualizing their
gifts
in adult life. In some instances the reasons are circumstantial, but
where
psychological factors are involved, it is crucial that these aspects
are
fully understood, so they can begin to reclaim their giftedness and
find
a channel for its development in the present.
For
clients
who were programmed to stay confined in conventional roles like "Dad,"
"Mom," "Dutiful Son or Daughter," and so forth, the authentic self is
submerged
and so is the potential for full development of their giftedness.
Therapeutically,
this type of unrecognized client needs a method and systematic support
for sparking creative drives eclipsed by traditional role
identification.
A good example is provided by a client in his early fifties who had a
career
as a very successful laser engineer.
He
had actually
run a company inside a large defense industrial firm. Early in our
work,
I kept hearing that he had an intense drive toward achieving
enlightenment,
and we began to explore and encourage that hidden passion.
After
taking
an early retirement, he read voraciously on the subject and settled
into
Krishnamurti's writings as the best approach for him. This man might be
characterized as metaphysically gifted. He engineered a brilliant and
original
approach to his enlightenment that involved meticulous researching of
his
inner world. This system expanded to include his own method of clearing
himself of ego projections and to better understand the nature of life.
Therapy then became a forum for testing his ideas in the context of his
personal work. This is the way he describes the reason he went
unnoticed
all his life and how he discovered his deeper identity:
"In
my early
childhood, I was not felt, sensed. Child rearing seemed to be based on
turning me into a responsible adult, one who could function in the
world,
make a home, a career, have a 'good' life. Stamp, Stamp! Here comes
another
good citizen...This led to a dutiful, responsible life, which left me
searching
and empty.
"I
really ached
to feel the depth of what life is, what being human is. Because this
path
was not lived, I was always outside the day to day world, rarely
befriended,
never really connected to, never really felt."
I
recognized
his intense need for introspection and deeper understanding and he was
able to shed an old identity that no longer served him. This is how he
describes what unfolded from the weekly mirroring:
"I
was felt
for the first time, connected to at last!...I learned to track my inner
self. By being felt, I learned to feel. By feeling, I learned to feel
who
I really was. It has been an incredible, fascinating journey...Life
unfolding
from the inside, my inside.
"Simply
because
someone could go with me to the depth of my pain, my disconnectedness,
so I could see my deepest fears and resistances and could begin to feel
life...The key is not the missed path, the key is that I was felt,
sensed,
connected to at a very deep level. This level of connection allows the
uniqueness of me to grow, to live. I was trapped in my mind, in my
cognitive
analytical mind, separated from feeling and from a connection with
others
and myself. That is no longer the case.
"How
did I discover
that I was interested in the fundamentals of what life is? As I look
back,
I can see the seed trying to grow, at age 14 in my search for the
meaning
of death, at age 18 when I decided to become an atheist instead of the
safe agnosticism I was following. But all of this went underground
until
someone...could feel this deeper need in me."
"Now
I work
with people, to pass on this work, to be with them as they explore,
enter
their own fundamental fears, and underneath that barrier, find a life
that
simply lives through them. This work is done by feeling, sensing, and
supporting
those efforts by a dash of thinking."
PSYCHOLOGICAL
BARRIERS TO A CREATIVE LIFE
FOR
THE
UNIDENTIFIED GIFTED PERSON
Shame
is the
"leading cause of death" of the potential for actualizing giftedness.
The
systematic destruction of any child's self-esteem is devastating, but
for
the gifted it is particularly so. For most people that carry shame as a
core issue, secondary defenses were constructed early on to protect
them
from the acute primal experience of a shaming event.
Because
of their
heightened sensitivity, the gifted I've worked with tend to have had an
extremely intense reaction to being shamed or humiliated in early
childhood.
For some clients, any attempt to achieve anything can trigger fear and
deadness, a sense that any effort to be Somebody is simply a futile
effort
to avoid accepting that you are really Nothing.
Others
who are
driven to achieve despite the shame are locked into terror that they
will
be humiliated when they are off guard and they will be defenseless
against
a reoccurrence of primal shame.
The
drive to
express their inner creativity is heightened in many gifted
individuals,
and when the drive to create meets the wall of shame, it implodes into
numbness, rage, depression, and hopelessness. It also heightens the
potential
for substance abuse, or other self-destructive behavior, setting up the
very exposed failure that triggers the shame.
A
multi-potentialed
client with a doctorate in linguistics describes our work to liberate a
Dancer, a Teacher, and a Songwriter from her core shame this way:
"Years
ago I
found a metaphor for the way I felt in my life: I was bound by a strait
jacket...I sensed creative energies inside, but couldn't seem to
breathe
life into them. I'd been raised by a mother with an insatiable need for
center stage who had to break my spirit in order to keep me in the
wings,
and a father who played hit man under my mother's direction. I grew up
believing I just didn't matter in the world.
"Mary
was quick
to identify the shame that bound me and the broken heart that ached
inside.
She let me know that the healing would require conscious, painful
steps.
Disclosing my shame to others when it came up was a double whammy of
exposure.
At first I wasn't even aware when a shaming event happened. I'd find
myself
shut down, feeling dead, and wonder why. It took a willingness to feel
the shame for me to begin to notice it when it happened, and the added
willingness to self-disclose it in order to begin to build the muscles
that would prevent me from engulfment.
"Feeling
the
full force of my non-personhood, and the void that my life really was,
and the enormity of the effort that was going to be involved to begin
to
move the shame--could have been overwhelming..."
As
she began
to experience some periods when the shame was not present, we began to
open up her creativity. She says:
"I
knew that
at some special moments I felt alive, playful, and creative, whereas
much
of the time I felt more or less like a missing person. Mary had been
asking
me questions like, 'What would make your heart sing?' At first the
answers
felt as far away as distant stars...Recently I have found a wonderful
freedom
in dance.
"I
looked for
teachers, but felt stifled by the imposition of structure, so I just
kept
playing around with what moved me in the privacy of my living
room...When
I dance, I seem to bypass shame. A whole healthy creative self comes
out
to play. A few months ago I left my job to start my own practice in
work
I call Awareness through Authentic Dance.
"The
more I
more I get to know this part of me, the more my creative juices seem to
be flowing. Songs have started bubbling up and I'm studying harmony and
singing to support and invite whatever wants to happen in this area.
I've
started sewing costumes to wear when I dance...Every now and then shame
pops up and shuts me down, but every day as I work to enlarge my
practice,...I'm
pushing back the old boundaries of shame and enlarging the space I'm
free
to move in. The strait jacket just isn't relevant anymore."
A
significant
number of my unrecognized gifted clients had teachers and parents who
treated
precocity as a behavioral problem to be disciplined, controlled and
reshaped
toward "normalcy." This history leaves the client not only with the
challenge
of reclaiming his or her true gifted identity but of healing all the
rage
and pain of being, in effect, punished for being gifted. Also, when
parents
coerce unrecognized gifted children to live the life the parents have
envisioned
for them, the children are robbed of years of lost time in which they
would
otherwise have been developing their giftedness. They grow up
conflicted,
angry, and guilty, whether they attempt to live out their parents'
expectations
or whether they rebel.
The
client that
was punished and coerced toward normalcy needs support to embrace his
giftedness
and facilitation to heal all the wounds attendant to being abused for
being
gifted. The therapist must treasure the client's giftedness and
encourage
the client to do the same. Together, a hothouse environment is set up
wherein
the "inner child" can feel free to create, which is essential to the
process
of adult creativity. The client is also guided toward a level of
authenticity
that throws off ongoing parental and societal pressures.
A
very talented
new film and TV director writes about how he was abused for being
artistically
inclined, how self-destructive behavior ensued, and the events and
process
by which he was able to embrace his creativity:
"Are
you kidding?
Me gifted? No way! Not according to my family upbringing. I grew up in
a creative wasteland, ruled over by the cultural SS. Any signs of
creativity
were interpreted as subversive. They were arrested and sentenced to the
inner world on sight!...So, I went underground...Those people tried to
break my spirit and mold me into the type of man they thought I should
be.
"They
tried
to make me NORMAL--just like them! I was treated as if I were a bad,
inadequate,
and unworthy child...I felt stupid, like I was a really bad person,
unlovable,
insecure, hysterical, sad, lonely, angry, and hostile...I was
constantly
in pain and I lived in darkness and fear...
"I
remember
going to my first film class where we watched movies and talked about
them.
The nickel dropped. That was it. I wanted to make movies...My father
responded
to all this...by telling me that I had no right to be in the movie
business
and that I was crazy and a dreamer...I struggled to get jobs by day,
and
I did battle with Dad & Co. by night for the right to do what I
wanted.
"Somewhere
during
this period I met David, who became my friend, then my therapist,
mentor,
and father figure who encouraged me to express myself in some way.
Elaine
May and John Cassavetes both sensed that I possessed some talent and
encouraged
me to express it. I was too far gone to hear any of it, and even if I
did
I didn't believe it. I could do nothing about it."
After
years
of self-destructive behavior and substance abuse, he got clean and
sober.
It was two years before anyone would hire him again.
"I
went back
to work as an assistant editor and had to learn my craft from the
beginning...As
an editor I learned to work creatively. Finally I began to understand
the
creative process. I broke through."
His
description
of our work provides a sense of the process of reclaiming his true
identity:
"For
the past
year and a half I have been working with Mary Rocamora. It seems as if
we have been at it for a much longer period because what has transpired
in that time is quite remarkable. The intensity of this work brought
about
such profound changes in me. I am not the same person.
"We
dealt extensively
with the ill effects of my upbringing, freeing me up from the duties,
obligations,
and guilt imposed on me by my family. We dealt with the rage, anger,
sadness,
and grief, and ultimately the letting go of the hope and the acceptance
of how things were and how things are. I discovered and connected with
my inner child, starting the process of reparenting this wonderfully
gifted
child.
"I
created a
safe place for him filled with love and trust. The removal of these
obstructions
enabled me to really take off and pursue and realize my creative
passions.
I was able to experience the opening of my heart and in learning to
follow
(it), live and come from that place inside me that only feels."
"Imagine
discovering,
owning, and believing that you have some creative talent...Editing was
fun for awhile but after seven years that world had become too small
for
this creative monster. I needed a bigger playground. Last November I
got
to direct my first show, an episode on "L. A. Law". It was good enough
to get me a second show to direct. I'll succeed as a director. My
creativity
has survived, all of it. It has a larger life and is the strongest
energy
aside from love in this universe...Try and stop me now!"
Many
of the
gifted adults I have worked with came from privileged parents that were
overpowering and autocratic, who utterly eclipsed their children's
abundance
of intellect and talent. Despite all the elite education and tutoring
provided,
children of these very wealthy families were regarded as parental
property,
who should not be allowed to compete with the parents or to be
encouraged
to have creative lives of their own. A creatively and intellectually
gifted
woman that put in five intensive years in therapy to reclaim her self,
her giftedness as an actress, and to build an authentic life sums up
the
childhood experience reported by many such clients. She exemplifies how
giftedness is frozen in the core identity of nonpersonhood, and the
role
that her wealthy background played:
"I
was slotted
into a very small dark corner labeled 'daughter.' Everything around me
ran like a well-oiled machine: food, clothes, school, vacations,
doctors...When
my parents were both abroad, the house felt safer, but I only noticed
that
I felt this right before they were expected back, when that black scary
doom started to permeate me again. It seemed as though the presumption
was that I had everything; therefore how could I ask for anything? But
I felt as though I had nothing but trepidation...I went invisible...and
then invisible meant I would have no voice, no say, no impact, no
choice.
"I
learned to
become me by discovering what my hidden, horrible beliefs actually
were,
by learning they were never authentically mine, by identifying the
terrors
that precluded me from knowing this, by starting to believe that I
alone
had the right to...decide who I am and what my place on this earth
would
be, by the outrage that propelled me to disentangle the heinous web of
emotional misinformation that was crammed into my psyche and being when
I was helpless, unprotected, and tiny.
"Privilege
as
it is commonly understood is a useless and very dangerous word. It is
given
a positive value judgment that by itself it does not possess. If it is
incorporated into a loving, caring, nurturing, attentive scenario where
it can enhance experience and further exploration of the self and the
world,
it is a divine gift, to be appreciated and treasured and to be very
grateful
for.
"I
doubt this
is often the case. It is normally the antidote to valid authentic
feeling.
It is the catch-all answer to refute essential questions. It is the
blanket
label that invalidates one's most precious needs. It screams at you
that
you can never ever, no matter now hard you try, be good enough to
warrant
and pay back the immeasurable good fortune that has been heaped upon
you.
"It
is the sure-fire
hell in which self doubt, guilt, and worthlessness breed malignantly
and
ferociously. It is brilliant because it wounds and if left alone kills
the very belief systems the psyche needs to fight it off. It produces
and
encourages defenselessness, and from that terrible fearful place comes
all sorts of aberrational feelings, thoughts, behavior patterns, and
lifestyles.
This is why 'privilege' is a very, very dangerous word. When not
aligned
to a positive scenario it is the final and totally eclipsing negation
of
the soul.
"There
are times
when I believe I can accomplish anything and everything I want to. This
feeling is not a constant, I believe, because it is a relearned belief.
It is structured around my own sometimes frail, sometimes unshakeable,
belief in myself, a self that was for eons smothered and under constant
attack."
There
are many
wealthy gifted individuals that are discriminated against in their area
of creative expression precisely because of their wealth. Many of the
gifted
clients I've worked with have been denied opportunities to join their
peers
because they don't need the income, are seen as undeserving because it
looks as if they haven't had to struggle, and are perceived as spoiled.
HOW
OUR CULTURE
AFFECTS GIFTED ADULTS
Our
culture
seems to transmit mixed messages to the gifted among us. While the
public
has been conditioned to have the highest expectations of a famous
gifted
individual, there is always the underlying media message that if a
gifted
person demonstrates anything either creatively or personally that is
controversial,
sensationalizable, or flawed, he or she risks public humiliation.
In
this atmosphere,
the high profile gifted are only treasured as long as they appear to be
perfect. Currently, the only saving grace for bad publicity is to find
a way to turn bad press into public sympathy.
In
regard to
the unrecognized gifted, our society offers less and less educational
opportunity
where individuals could find mirroring for latent talents. It fails to
provide any significant creative encouragement in the professional
world,
and few windows, besides specialized therapy, that would open up a
highly
creative life that was previously unlived. In our society, leading a
life
devoted to excellence is not particularly encouraged or rewarded,
unless,
of course, you are an Academy Award-winning movie star or one of the
world's
most beloved opera singers.
In
any case,
there are many gifted individuals among us who are not fulfilling their
potential, in part, because there is no cultural invitation to do so.
Also,
there is no part of the American lifestyle that is tailor-made for the
special needs gifted adults to discover and maximize their talents.
With
this social
backdrop, the therapist who works with the gifted needs to close this
gap,
with therapy providing an environment reserved for the most creative
and
visionary individuals among us. Each client must be encouraged to be
the
architect of a lifestyle that supports his or her particular creative
needs.
They
need to
feel that their creativity is precious and has the potential to make a
contribution to the society at large. This is a critical therapeutic
issue
that must be addressed, whether it pertains to the already famous
achiever
or to the gifted individuals that are inching their way out of
unrecognizability.
SUMMARY
Therapists
who
seek to specialize in working with gifted adults must understand the
interface
between the psychological issues at hand and the issues pertaining to
the
client's giftedness. They must be fully knowledgeable about the
workings
of the creative process so as to liberate and activate it
psychologically,
and have a well-developed understanding about how to take clients with
great ability into a level of professional achievement that will
satisfy
them.
Therapists
must
also make up for the lack of societal support and help all gifted
clients
to be the architects of a lifestyle that supports the development of
their
giftedness.
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Mary
Rocamora,
M.A., is the founder and director of The
Rocamora School. She has been a consultant in private practice in
Los
Angeles, California, for the past 14 years, specializing in working
with
gifted adults, many of whom are in the entertainment industry. She
provides
seminars and other presentations on advanced development.
>
More
articles by Mary Rocamora.
~ ~ ~
originally published in
Advanced Development
Journal, Volume 4, January, 1992
=== === ===
some
related
books:
Barbara Kerr. Smart
Girls: A New Psychology of Girls, Women, and Giftedness
Kathleen Noble ,
PhD. Remarkable
Women - Perspectives on Female Talent Development
[also see interview
with Prof. Noble]
Sally Reis, PhD: Work
Left Undone: Choices and Compromises of Talented Women
Mary Rocamora. The
Personal Journey Workbook: A Guide to an Extraordinary Life
"to show a way to get
Awareness free
of old, limiting patterns so that a fresh and expansive life can be
lived...
a carefully designed exploration of awareness and beliefs using
accessible,
non-dogmatic information and precisely crafted inductive exercises."
Linda Silverman Counseling
the Gifted and Talented
Marylou Kelly Streznewski.
Gifted
Grownups: The Mixed Blessings of Extraordinary Potential
~ ~ ~
Related pages:
High
Ability
High
Ability - gifted/talented articles
Giftedness books..
~ ~ ~
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