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Witches Be Crazy: A Tale That Happened Once Upon a Time in the Middle of Nowhere
Real heroes never die. But they do get grouchy in middle age.
The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik’s beautiful long-lost daughter. With the land’s heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there’s only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
Normally politics are the least of his concerns, but after everyone in the neighboring kingdom of Farrawee comes down with a severe case of being dead, Dungar learns that the masquerading princess not only is behind the carnage but also has similar plans for his own hometown. Together with the only person senseless enough to tag along, an eccentric and arguably insane hobo named Jimminy, he journeys out into the world he’s so pointedly tried to avoid as the only hope of defeating the most powerful person in it. That is, if he can survive the pirates, cultists, radical Amazonians, and assorted other dangers lying in wait along the way.
Logan J. Hunder’s hilarious debut blows up the fantasy genre with its wry juxtaposition of the fantastic and the mundane, proving that the best and brightest heroes aren’t always the best for the job.
Skyhorse Publishing, under our Night Shade and Talos imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of titles for readers interested in science fiction (space opera, time travel, hard SF, alien invasion, near-future dystopia), fantasy (grimdark, sword and sorcery, contemporary urban fantasy, steampunk, alternative history), and horror (zombies, vampires, and the occult and supernatural), and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller, a national bestseller, or a Hugo or Nebula award-winner, we are committed to publishing quality books from a diverse group of authors.
The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik’s beautiful long-lost daughter. With the land’s heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there’s only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
Normally politics are the least of his concerns, but after everyone in the neighboring kingdom of Farrawee comes down with a severe case of being dead, Dungar learns that the masquerading princess not only is behind the carnage but also has similar plans for his own hometown. Together with the only person senseless enough to tag along, an eccentric and arguably insane hobo named Jimminy, he journeys out into the world he’s so pointedly tried to avoid as the only hope of defeating the most powerful person in it. That is, if he can survive the pirates, cultists, radical Amazonians, and assorted other dangers lying in wait along the way.
Logan J. Hunder’s hilarious debut blows up the fantasy genre with its wry juxtaposition of the fantastic and the mundane, proving that the best and brightest heroes aren’t always the best for the job.
Skyhorse Publishing, under our Night Shade and Talos imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of titles for readers interested in science fiction (space opera, time travel, hard SF, alien invasion, near-future dystopia), fantasy (grimdark, sword and sorcery, contemporary urban fantasy, steampunk, alternative history), and horror (zombies, vampires, and the occult and supernatural), and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller, a national bestseller, or a Hugo or Nebula award-winner, we are committed to publishing quality books from a diverse group of authors.
352 pages, Paperback
First published June 2, 2015
About the author
Logan J. Hunder
2 books40 followersLogan J Hunder is a 20-something year old Canadian author from Victoria, British Columbia. After graduating college with a degree in Criminal Justice, he directed his writing abilities towards novels where his insistence to crack jokes would be less frowned upon. His debut story, Witches Be Crazy, has received praise at the Los Angeles International Book Festival.
In addition to penning novels, Hunder is also a proudly serving member of the Canadian Navy.
In addition to penning novels, Hunder is also a proudly serving member of the Canadian Navy.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 218 reviews
July 6, 2015
First reviewed at The BiblioSanctum http://bibliosanctum.com/2015/07/05/b...
Humor, as we all know, is subjective. Especially satire and parody. Case in point, the man I married can watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the nine hundredth time and still bust a gut laughing, while I’m sitting there beside him on the couch rolling my eyes because the movie stopped being funny after the first time (and I expect I will catch a lot of grief for that blasphemous confession). What I find funny/not funny might not be the same as others, which is why I feel it is necessary to preface this review with a big YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. There are many great things about this novel: it’s clever, it’s entertaining, and it has its uproariously funny moments. On the other hand, there are parts where the humor simply did not work for me. But that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t work for you! Because it is so difficult to put a score on books like this, I’m actually going to leave my rating off for the blog.
The hilariously titled Witches Be Crazy pokes fun at one of my favorite fantasy themes – the epic quest. The story begins “once upon a time in the middle of nowhere” – in this case a desert oasis village, home to an unassuming blacksmith-turned-innkeeper named Dungar Loloth who hears tell of strange happenings in Jenair, the kingdom’s capital. The ruler King Ik is dying, if not already dead, with only his long-lost-but-now-only-just-found daughter to succeed him.
No, as a matter of fact, Dungar doesn’t think that sounds very legit either. Convinced of witchcraft, Dungar sets off on a journey to expose the princess for what she really is, and plans to kill her before she can set her evil plans in motion. Along for the ride is Jimminy, an insane hobo who loves to sing off-tune and drive Dungar (and me) crazy. Surviving each other is just the beginning, though. Together on their way to Jenair, the two companions get to come face-to-face with many more dangers, meet other questing adventurers, and run afoul of plenty more beloved genre tropes.
If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you might have noticed we participate in a weekly meme called “Tough Traveling”, a feature inspired by The Tough Guide to Fantasyland by Diana Wynne Jones, a parody tourist guidebook that uses humor to examine the common themes in fantasy fiction. Tropes are popular for a reason – they’re tried and true and entertaining to boot, but it’s also very fun to recognize and affectionately make light of them, which is why I was drawn to the description of Witches be Crazy in the first place. Logan J. Hunder’s debut succeeds at lampooning many of the genre’s most established and cherished clichés, starting with character archetypes. I loved this book’s introduction, which featured many quotable gems such as this one about the ridiculously beautiful Princess Koey:
The book is full of moments like this that will make you chuckle – because they reveal the illogical nature behind so many of our favorite tropes. The prologue made me optimistic for the rest of the book, though as I read on, I realized that I prefer a subtler kind of comedy. After the first handful of chapters, it’s clear that there was not going to be much variation to style of humor employed by the author, which consists of mostly punny wordplay and slapstick. If you enjoy that, then you are sure to be in for a real treat. For me, however, there was just not enough variation to the repertoire. While I had an excellent time with the beginning of this book, I have to admit the novelty gradually lost its appeal.
The story read like a series of skits – Dungar and Jimminy are plunged into one situation after another, some of which will be immediately familiar to avid readers of fantasy. You have the gladiatorial arena. A stint on a ship with a fearsome band of pirates. A magical tree with malicious nymphs. This random assortment of events made for an outrageous yet amusing plotline, though ultimately they featured a similar routine played out over and over. By the time Dungar and Jimminy got to the village populated by bigoted Amazons, I was just worn down and ready for this story to end. It might have been oversaturation for me at that point, but I really could have done without that entire section with the all-women village, which I did not enjoy or find funny at all. But like I said, to each their own.
In the end, I think a novella of this type of story would have been perfect for me, but a full length novel was perhaps more than I could manage. It was a fun book, but simply featured too much of the same kind of humor and ran too long for my tastes. I have no doubt that Witches Be Crazy will garner a lot of fans though; to me this is the kind of book with “dedicated cult following” written all over it, much like other parodic classics like Monty Python and the Holy Grail or The Princess Bride. If the novel’s description sounds like something that would interest you, it might be worth giving it a shot.
Humor, as we all know, is subjective. Especially satire and parody. Case in point, the man I married can watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the nine hundredth time and still bust a gut laughing, while I’m sitting there beside him on the couch rolling my eyes because the movie stopped being funny after the first time (and I expect I will catch a lot of grief for that blasphemous confession). What I find funny/not funny might not be the same as others, which is why I feel it is necessary to preface this review with a big YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. There are many great things about this novel: it’s clever, it’s entertaining, and it has its uproariously funny moments. On the other hand, there are parts where the humor simply did not work for me. But that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t work for you! Because it is so difficult to put a score on books like this, I’m actually going to leave my rating off for the blog.
The hilariously titled Witches Be Crazy pokes fun at one of my favorite fantasy themes – the epic quest. The story begins “once upon a time in the middle of nowhere” – in this case a desert oasis village, home to an unassuming blacksmith-turned-innkeeper named Dungar Loloth who hears tell of strange happenings in Jenair, the kingdom’s capital. The ruler King Ik is dying, if not already dead, with only his long-lost-but-now-only-just-found daughter to succeed him.
No, as a matter of fact, Dungar doesn’t think that sounds very legit either. Convinced of witchcraft, Dungar sets off on a journey to expose the princess for what she really is, and plans to kill her before she can set her evil plans in motion. Along for the ride is Jimminy, an insane hobo who loves to sing off-tune and drive Dungar (and me) crazy. Surviving each other is just the beginning, though. Together on their way to Jenair, the two companions get to come face-to-face with many more dangers, meet other questing adventurers, and run afoul of plenty more beloved genre tropes.
If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you might have noticed we participate in a weekly meme called “Tough Traveling”, a feature inspired by The Tough Guide to Fantasyland by Diana Wynne Jones, a parody tourist guidebook that uses humor to examine the common themes in fantasy fiction. Tropes are popular for a reason – they’re tried and true and entertaining to boot, but it’s also very fun to recognize and affectionately make light of them, which is why I was drawn to the description of Witches be Crazy in the first place. Logan J. Hunder’s debut succeeds at lampooning many of the genre’s most established and cherished clichés, starting with character archetypes. I loved this book’s introduction, which featured many quotable gems such as this one about the ridiculously beautiful Princess Koey:
“She was known to have left the castle and made a public appearance only once. It is said that during this appearance her skin, which was oddly tanned for someone who had apparently never been outside, emitted a light more radiant than that of the sun and her smile was so alluring that a flock of birds splattered themselves all over a tower because they were physically unable to watch where they were going.”
The book is full of moments like this that will make you chuckle – because they reveal the illogical nature behind so many of our favorite tropes. The prologue made me optimistic for the rest of the book, though as I read on, I realized that I prefer a subtler kind of comedy. After the first handful of chapters, it’s clear that there was not going to be much variation to style of humor employed by the author, which consists of mostly punny wordplay and slapstick. If you enjoy that, then you are sure to be in for a real treat. For me, however, there was just not enough variation to the repertoire. While I had an excellent time with the beginning of this book, I have to admit the novelty gradually lost its appeal.
The story read like a series of skits – Dungar and Jimminy are plunged into one situation after another, some of which will be immediately familiar to avid readers of fantasy. You have the gladiatorial arena. A stint on a ship with a fearsome band of pirates. A magical tree with malicious nymphs. This random assortment of events made for an outrageous yet amusing plotline, though ultimately they featured a similar routine played out over and over. By the time Dungar and Jimminy got to the village populated by bigoted Amazons, I was just worn down and ready for this story to end. It might have been oversaturation for me at that point, but I really could have done without that entire section with the all-women village, which I did not enjoy or find funny at all. But like I said, to each their own.
In the end, I think a novella of this type of story would have been perfect for me, but a full length novel was perhaps more than I could manage. It was a fun book, but simply featured too much of the same kind of humor and ran too long for my tastes. I have no doubt that Witches Be Crazy will garner a lot of fans though; to me this is the kind of book with “dedicated cult following” written all over it, much like other parodic classics like Monty Python and the Holy Grail or The Princess Bride. If the novel’s description sounds like something that would interest you, it might be worth giving it a shot.
October 3, 2020
DNF at 70%, because the author's hatred of women became too obvious, and too much to deal with. It's not just that the only 'good' characters are men, including all the speaking characters, and that the protagonist is toxicity embodied (violent, angry, bitter towards women). That was already quite the mark against the book. However, at chapter 21/22, the main characters reach a village entirely populated by women, where men are imprisoned, and only random demands from entitled and moody obese pro-woman women could see them free. The town is full of 'immaculate' beds of pink flowers, there are mirrors everywhere at head-height, and of course it's hilarious that there are bathrooms everywhere. Because all women care about is enslaving men, checking themselves out, and going to the toilet, amirite?
Honestly, just disgusting.
Honestly, just disgusting.
December 1, 2017
This book did have some good humor in spots, but it was also deeply flawed in others. I'm not opposed to silly books. I love Scott Meyer and Douglas Adams, both of whom craft some wonderful silly humor, but Hunder missed the mark with this book. Silly can easily become stupid nonsense, which happened on several occasions.
This book has a great many specific and current references in it. For example, when discussing an exorcism, a priest says that in the case of real demon possession, the body has ways of shutting that whole thing down, which is the obvious and exact reference to the comment that moron Todd Akin made about rape. I thought it was funny, as were most of them.
However, I did not appreciate the way he treated feminism, sexual harassment, and women in general. The section with the women's town felt like a meninist fable. If irony was the goal, it didn't come through for me. All the female characters were ridiculous, even in the context of a farcical story. I'm not sure what the meaning behind the women's village is supposed to be, or even if a deeper meaning was meant to exist, but it didn't feel like it came from this century.
This book has a great many specific and current references in it. For example, when discussing an exorcism, a priest says that in the case of real demon possession, the body has ways of shutting that whole thing down, which is the obvious and exact reference to the comment that moron Todd Akin made about rape. I thought it was funny, as were most of them.
However, I did not appreciate the way he treated feminism, sexual harassment, and women in general. The section with the women's town felt like a meninist fable. If irony was the goal, it didn't come through for me. All the female characters were ridiculous, even in the context of a farcical story. I'm not sure what the meaning behind the women's village is supposed to be, or even if a deeper meaning was meant to exist, but it didn't feel like it came from this century.
July 7, 2018
Lots of fun puns and a likeable curmudgeon protagonist. Delightful musical pirates. Some repetition and overuse of words by a new author, but nothing that more experience and a decent thesaurus won't improve. Unfortunately I can't recommend due to a 40 page fat joke laced with misogyny. Toxic and cheap, it served no larger point in the story and was patently lazy writing. I was so disgusted it was difficult to finish the book.
June 20, 2015
"If Heaven made him — earth can find some use for him." - Chinese Proverb
in a nutshell: King Ik of the kingdom of Jenair was ill. his desire, before he wasted away further, was to see his only daughter married off. news spread far and wide not only about the king's illness but that he even had a daughter in the first place. all manner of folks then trooped to Jenair, the capital city, to seek her out and win her hand or foot or whatever. nothing about the whole affair appeared to be right though. something seemed a little off. against this peculiar scenario, the tale that happened once upon a time in the middle of nowhere more or less began...
try to resist the temptation of tackling this book in one go or you might not be able to stop. i would understand if your resolve fails especially once you meet the unlikely heroes Dungar Loloth and Jimminy Appaya as they battle against flora and fauna monstrosities, blood-thirsty business owners, gay pirates, errant knights and other (un)savory sorts.
if you are up for something unique that delivers total entertainment as well, Logan J. Hunder's debut novel is the perfect choice. aimed at mature readers, this literary fantasy adventure/misadventure is outrageous, hilarious, witty, refreshing and original. from start to end, the fun never lets up and never lets go.
*received a copy for review from the publisher via Edelweiss
in a nutshell: King Ik of the kingdom of Jenair was ill. his desire, before he wasted away further, was to see his only daughter married off. news spread far and wide not only about the king's illness but that he even had a daughter in the first place. all manner of folks then trooped to Jenair, the capital city, to seek her out and win her hand or foot or whatever. nothing about the whole affair appeared to be right though. something seemed a little off. against this peculiar scenario, the tale that happened once upon a time in the middle of nowhere more or less began...
try to resist the temptation of tackling this book in one go or you might not be able to stop. i would understand if your resolve fails especially once you meet the unlikely heroes Dungar Loloth and Jimminy Appaya as they battle against flora and fauna monstrosities, blood-thirsty business owners, gay pirates, errant knights and other (un)savory sorts.
if you are up for something unique that delivers total entertainment as well, Logan J. Hunder's debut novel is the perfect choice. aimed at mature readers, this literary fantasy adventure/misadventure is outrageous, hilarious, witty, refreshing and original. from start to end, the fun never lets up and never lets go.
*received a copy for review from the publisher via Edelweiss
June 18, 2018
Wow! This was, well . . . umm, interesting. Let me start by saying I love fantasy, and I love humor, so it would seem like a perfect fit. Right? Well, it was. Kinda. The author is funny, creative, and the characters aren't your run-of-the-mill fantasy tropes. This, I appreciated.
Why the low rating you ask? Firstly, while the book was certainly action-packed, albeit often times ridiculously so, a lot of the situations were so unbelievable I found myself rolling my eyes or skimming through most of it. It's fantasy, so it doesn't exactly have to be realistic, but there has to be a certain level of verisimilitude so that it's actually believable.
I appreciated the jokes and silly contemporary references, but it wasn't enough to carry the story. Speaking of story, there wasn't much to it in the way of a plot or twists and turns. That's fine, as I'm sure it was meant to be more of a light, fun read--which it was--but I seriously found myself yearning for any kind of actual substance.
And last but not least--not least at all, this was actually the worst part--the glaring typos and grammatical errors . . . whoa. I've never seen it like this. Honestly, I liked the idea, the title, and quirkiness of the narrative, but the lack of professional editing really made this book feel like it was sloppy and of very low quality. The occasional typo or slip up is a given, but when you change tenses three different times within one sentence and have several obvious typos every chapter, it just starts to get a little bit jarring.
I feel like is the book was polished and error free, I'd have a lot more good things to say about it. The presentation doesn't change the content, but it's definitely a piece of the puzzle when it comes to my overall opinion of a book--or any product, for that matter. All in all, I got some good laughs out of this one and, aside from the typos it was a smooth and easy read.
Why the low rating you ask? Firstly, while the book was certainly action-packed, albeit often times ridiculously so, a lot of the situations were so unbelievable I found myself rolling my eyes or skimming through most of it. It's fantasy, so it doesn't exactly have to be realistic, but there has to be a certain level of verisimilitude so that it's actually believable.
I appreciated the jokes and silly contemporary references, but it wasn't enough to carry the story. Speaking of story, there wasn't much to it in the way of a plot or twists and turns. That's fine, as I'm sure it was meant to be more of a light, fun read--which it was--but I seriously found myself yearning for any kind of actual substance.
And last but not least--not least at all, this was actually the worst part--the glaring typos and grammatical errors . . . whoa. I've never seen it like this. Honestly, I liked the idea, the title, and quirkiness of the narrative, but the lack of professional editing really made this book feel like it was sloppy and of very low quality. The occasional typo or slip up is a given, but when you change tenses three different times within one sentence and have several obvious typos every chapter, it just starts to get a little bit jarring.
I feel like is the book was polished and error free, I'd have a lot more good things to say about it. The presentation doesn't change the content, but it's definitely a piece of the puzzle when it comes to my overall opinion of a book--or any product, for that matter. All in all, I got some good laughs out of this one and, aside from the typos it was a smooth and easy read.
August 25, 2016
I had kind of a love/hate relationship with this book. While I find the majority of the book to be cheeky and entertaining, the whole section about Jimminy's girlfriend was very off-putting. I get what the author was trying to do but there are other ways to get your readers to follow that you are expressing that a particular character is vile. As a huge supporter of the body positive movement, I don't feel like making an antagonist fat to prove how terrible she should be perceived as is a good course of action. Other than this, I found most of the book enjoyable and would read another by the same author if the chance were to arise.
April 12, 2021
Great comedic writing with pretty funny banter between the main characters.
However, it was pretty ruined for me by the author’s 2 dimensional portrayal of women as dumb pink loving flower gardeners that accuse all men of violent crimes upon meeting them.
There’s fat phobia, where he literally calls a person “it” and “the beast” just for being obese. there’s homophobia as well with the way some of the side characters love interests are portrayed.
What a waste. His editor really let him down by telling him this was ready for print. I’m so tired of this incel-ish theme of “women are evil and not to be trusted unless you can screw the pretty ones.” Booooo
However, it was pretty ruined for me by the author’s 2 dimensional portrayal of women as dumb pink loving flower gardeners that accuse all men of violent crimes upon meeting them.
There’s fat phobia, where he literally calls a person “it” and “the beast” just for being obese. there’s homophobia as well with the way some of the side characters love interests are portrayed.
What a waste. His editor really let him down by telling him this was ready for print. I’m so tired of this incel-ish theme of “women are evil and not to be trusted unless you can screw the pretty ones.” Booooo
September 22, 2015
So let me start by saying that the story was definitely not the most compelling in terms of resolutions and how believable they were.
HOWEVER. that aside, this was highly enjoyable, funny, and I loved the pop culture nods. Jiminy was great - please don't stab me by saying that a movie made of this book MUST have Johnny Depp as him. I was even reading it in his Jack Sparrow voice. But no, this was great!!
HOWEVER. that aside, this was highly enjoyable, funny, and I loved the pop culture nods. Jiminy was great - please don't stab me by saying that a movie made of this book MUST have Johnny Depp as him. I was even reading it in his Jack Sparrow voice. But no, this was great!!
June 14, 2017
I had higher hopes for this. The title is a definite attention-grabber and the story, overall, is funny and fairly clever. Where the absurd epic quest bogs down for me is when the protagonist enters an all-female city. The humor here felt very lazy and stereotypical and I did not agree with some of the implied social commentary. There are also far too many pages devoted to describing an overweight character and her personality flaws. It comes across as mean-spirited and, again, lazy and stereotypical. There are some fine exchanges between Dungar and his oddball companion Jiminy and there is some redemption at the end as female characters are finally shown in a positive light.
June 21, 2017
Started the book, hated the book, stopped reading the book. Disappointed because it seemed like a cute idea, great title and cover. Alas, it's just too bland and goofy to care. I only gave it one star because there's nothing lower.
February 9, 2023
Ever since I put this book on my shelf "digital-on-deck" - most likely somewhere around 2019 - I'd been looking forward to reading it. The title seemed interesting and the description on Goodreads seemed fun. (I got this book as part of a Humble Bundle) It seemed as though it might fall into either a Terry Pratchett-like parody of fantasy or maybe a fractured fairy tale. At first it seemed to go alright - it had some dad-joke level puns, and I like those. (eg a town called Farrawee) Or a Who's-on-First style joke with someone named Herrow.
Unfortunately, there were many reasons I didn't enjoy the book. At first I thought maybe the book was self-published, but according to Goodreads it was published by Skyhorse publishing. In his discussion of the value of publishers vs self-publishing, John Scalzi mentions that there are two benefits to having a publisher: copy-editing and promotion. Skyhorse seems to have failed miserably on the former. If you've read my reviews or blog posts you know that I sometimes make spelling errors. But I'm just Joe Schmoe writing book reviews and blog posts. A book should not be riddled with spelling errors, homonym errors, and verb-tense disagreements. It's the last of those that really drove me out of the story. Half the sentence would be present tense and the other half past tense.
Getting away from what some might consider to be pedantic issues - the story didn't work for me either. It had a semi-random nature that didn't really have a point and the the whole subplot of the female-only city was terrible. All the solders were sent into a panic attack because of a spider. All the women have been taught that men are only going to force themselves onto the women. What is this - 1990s strawman feminism? It was just sigh-inducing.
The final straw for me was that the title didn't have anything to do with the book. It was just chosen to make a pun on a common phrase. There were, in fact, no witches. Not even non-crazy ones.
According to the "about the author" page, this was the author's first book. I've never successfully written or published a book. So, good on the author. They did something that many think is easy, but few accomplish. But their publisher did them dirty on this one. There should have been another cleanup-pass on the language and maybe even an editor to tighten up the plot a bit. Good luck on their future novels - may they hone their craft and turn out to become a great writer.
Unfortunately, there were many reasons I didn't enjoy the book. At first I thought maybe the book was self-published, but according to Goodreads it was published by Skyhorse publishing. In his discussion of the value of publishers vs self-publishing, John Scalzi mentions that there are two benefits to having a publisher: copy-editing and promotion. Skyhorse seems to have failed miserably on the former. If you've read my reviews or blog posts you know that I sometimes make spelling errors. But I'm just Joe Schmoe writing book reviews and blog posts. A book should not be riddled with spelling errors, homonym errors, and verb-tense disagreements. It's the last of those that really drove me out of the story. Half the sentence would be present tense and the other half past tense.
Getting away from what some might consider to be pedantic issues - the story didn't work for me either. It had a semi-random nature that didn't really have a point and the the whole subplot of the female-only city was terrible. All the solders were sent into a panic attack because of a spider. All the women have been taught that men are only going to force themselves onto the women. What is this - 1990s strawman feminism? It was just sigh-inducing.
The final straw for me was that the title didn't have anything to do with the book. It was just chosen to make a pun on a common phrase. There were, in fact, no witches. Not even non-crazy ones.
According to the "about the author" page, this was the author's first book. I've never successfully written or published a book. So, good on the author. They did something that many think is easy, but few accomplish. But their publisher did them dirty on this one. There should have been another cleanup-pass on the language and maybe even an editor to tighten up the plot a bit. Good luck on their future novels - may they hone their craft and turn out to become a great writer.
July 17, 2022
I love fantasy parodies. Probably because I love fantasy, as a genre, so seeing it sent up for teh lolz is great fun for me.
And for the first 3/4 of the book, it was fairly clear that this was going to be a good one. It touched on all the tropes -- the epic quest, the evil wizard, the pirates, the gladiators. And it was funny. Quick paced, lots of ridiculousness.
And then the author ruined it. Not just ruined it, but blew it up, danced on the ashes, and gave the middle finger to its readers.
There's a section, very well-discussed here in the reviews (so I don't feel it's spoilery), where our fearless hero and his feckless sidekick stumble into an all-women village run by a less than scrupulous matriarch. And if it was JUST the false rape accusation (which I might have been able to write off as social commentary, though it would have been a rather tasteless choice), or JUST that the leader was irrational (standard parody fare), it would have been iffy, but fine. But Hunder chose to dive right into a bunch of misogynistic b.s. that went WAY over the line. There are entire paragraphs of fatphobic screed, mixed in with how ugly and smelly she was, and the dudebro pep talks the MC gives his sidekick. He doesn't even try to mask the MRA-style "you won't sleep with me, so I'll accuse you of rape!" idiocy.
Like I said, I'm all about parody. I love this subgenre. I do not love things that mock actual women's pain and/or use rape accusations as a big fat joke (pun intended). It literally ruined the rest of the novel for me. I finished it, hoping there'd be some kind of payoff that would counteract that chapter's heavy miss (also pun intended), but from then on out, all I could see is a subtle thread of misogyny under the surface. (And I'm not easily offended, for the record.). The female characters were dimensionless and/or pawns, and even when Hunder tried to make the supposedly-evil queen into something less evil, she was still at the mercy of all the men around her, etc.. The whole "ugly, corpulent rape-crier" chapter just soured me on the rest.
It could have been such a good book. It was headed in a hilarious, fun direction. I'm disappointed that the author's such an asshat and divebombed his own book.
And for the first 3/4 of the book, it was fairly clear that this was going to be a good one. It touched on all the tropes -- the epic quest, the evil wizard, the pirates, the gladiators. And it was funny. Quick paced, lots of ridiculousness.
And then the author ruined it. Not just ruined it, but blew it up, danced on the ashes, and gave the middle finger to its readers.
There's a section, very well-discussed here in the reviews (so I don't feel it's spoilery), where our fearless hero and his feckless sidekick stumble into an all-women village run by a less than scrupulous matriarch. And if it was JUST the false rape accusation (which I might have been able to write off as social commentary, though it would have been a rather tasteless choice), or JUST that the leader was irrational (standard parody fare), it would have been iffy, but fine. But Hunder chose to dive right into a bunch of misogynistic b.s. that went WAY over the line. There are entire paragraphs of fatphobic screed, mixed in with how ugly and smelly she was, and the dudebro pep talks the MC gives his sidekick. He doesn't even try to mask the MRA-style "you won't sleep with me, so I'll accuse you of rape!" idiocy.
Like I said, I'm all about parody. I love this subgenre. I do not love things that mock actual women's pain and/or use rape accusations as a big fat joke (pun intended). It literally ruined the rest of the novel for me. I finished it, hoping there'd be some kind of payoff that would counteract that chapter's heavy miss (also pun intended), but from then on out, all I could see is a subtle thread of misogyny under the surface. (And I'm not easily offended, for the record.). The female characters were dimensionless and/or pawns, and even when Hunder tried to make the supposedly-evil queen into something less evil, she was still at the mercy of all the men around her, etc.. The whole "ugly, corpulent rape-crier" chapter just soured me on the rest.
It could have been such a good book. It was headed in a hilarious, fun direction. I'm disappointed that the author's such an asshat and divebombed his own book.
September 20, 2020
I really appreciate the humor in this book. I absolutely adore the subversion tactic to make jokes or get out of weird problems. I think the author does a good job of setting up the story and of not taking itself too seriously. It's a lighthearted fantasy romp with unique characters and settings.
There are a few nitpicks I didn't care for. Most notably the part with the woman-only town. Up to this point I think the topics were comical and harmless while still being engaging. But then the fire nation attacked-jk. I am gonna go pretty in depth here, and while I don't like this small section of the book, I do think the book as a whole is great.
So, in this all woman town the author takes a different turn than I'd like. Firstly, he made a comically obese woman, Bibi, be the lost love of his best friend. That would be fine if it was just a plus size woman tbh, but the author goes out of his way to say that the woman is basically a human bowling ball. She is constantly eating excessive amounts of food and even in a combat situation she will not stop eating at all. She manifests food from her fat rolls at one point. And there's an odor from rotten and decayed food eminating from her. I just didn't find this funny. I think it's insensitive of people with eating disorders and larger women. It is used as a literal joke in the sense of "haha look how fat she is!" And while one of my favorite jokes is written about this woman, I don't like that it is used AT the woman. She yells she is big boned, and our protagonist yells back, "bones don't jiggle!" That is a genuinely funny line but I don't like it being used as an insult at a person. It could've been done better and between friends or family. But that's my opinion.
Then the author takes it a step further and makes this Pac-Man woman an abusive, villainous, and deranged dictator. Now that's a lot to unpack so get comfy.
Abusive: she literally demeans and gaslighted our main character's best friend, saying that he could never get a good woman like her. She uses coercion to get the poor sob to act like her servant. She abused her authority in the town and those within it. This is a clear parallel to domestic abuse. In the book itself it brings up this very conflict. Dungar is debating if he should allow Jiminiy to stay in this abusive relationship with Bibi. It's part of why he confronts her when she tries to seduce him.
Villainous: she killed the men of the town she currently "rules" by claiming they all raped her. Then goes on to brainwash an entire town of women into thinking all men are rapists and murderers. She sends for our protagonist only to seduce him-knowing that it's the best friend of the guy that loves her. When seduction doesn't work, she threatens him saying that she will call rape on him. That alone REALLY undermines rape victims and how hard it is to come forward about true rape cases. Even as a joke, it just isn't funny. It's this very sensitive and nuanced topic being used as a cheap joke.
•Earlier in the book another woman character called the main character and his pal rapists, murderers, and child abusers. The context is that, she was getting a mob to believe that the violent battle match was justified as an entertaining form of corporal punishment. Insinuating that they would be executed regardless. I give this a pass bc it didn't have a direct victim claiming it. The current situation, has a person claiming to be a victim of rape out of.... spite. Which leads us to-.
Deranged: not only is this woman portrayed as a false victim of rape, she also calls for the execution of her rapist without trial. The execution of a woman that tries to defend our main character, for being skinny and whoring around with said main character. And a third person, a woman defending the woman being called a skinny whore. Now. I get this is supposed to be a funny skit. And it is absurdist in it's premise. But it also shows that she is just a big, fat, stupid, evil woman. It's very much a negative sterotype that fat people are also stupid. And this part in particular contradicts the manipulation aspect that convinced an entire town of women to hate men. Like which is it? Is she manipulative and cunning or stupid and naieve?
The rest of the town has a negative taste in my mouth bc it also plays up women sterotypes but it doesn't seem as impactful on social issues like rape, fat shaming, disordered eating, and domestic abuse. Like the town all being afraid of spiders is actually kinda funny.
Also, there is a blind character in this. And had this been a serious fantasy novel I'd get my soap box on how much blindness and disability is usually done terribly, but I actually kinda like how they handled it here.
Going into it knowing it's a comedy, we meet a gaggle of pirates that want to find treasure inside a magic tree. One of them is blind bc he angered a fellow pirate in a card game. Said pirate used two knives and stabbed the other's eyes rendering him blind. Later on, it's established that the tree will use hallucinations and magic to get people to defend the tree. Their eyes will turn a vibrant magic green color and they are stat buffed and delusional.
The blind pirate was affected by the tree like all the rest, and is given the same stat buffs and glowing green eyes but now he can see like before. And there is a nuanced moment where all the other pirates hesitate and think about what it means to try and de-spell him. Instead of fighting and trying to remove him, the captain actually relinquishes and offers to let him stay unharmed so long as they get the treasure.
Now, I like this aspect for a couple reasons. Firstly, our loony sidekick character straight up asks how and why the pirate is blind and wearing two eyepatches. I like that. Especially in a comedy. It sets up foreshadowing and also addresses how, in much more serious fantasy, blind and disabled characters are often not really disabled. How they behave and act basically how everyone else does without the author taking the time to show how different disabled people act and think. Think of this like Daredevil and Toph, both have magic that makes them able to function in a society pretty seemlessly. You could say it's a part of the magic system, but if you're more honest you can probably see that it's either lazy writing like with Daredevil-or it's Disability Porn like with Toph. So the fact that the author pokes fun at this cliche makes me happy.
Secondly, I like that the book doesn't shy away from the disability and how a true human being would react if returned their sight. Being blind really does suck. I can speak from experience. And it sucks a lot more for people who were once sighted. There's a huge amount of loss and feelings and whatnot. So I like that this actually had that nuanced moment of understanding. It was subtle and I just appreciate that. And the character himself is still a bloody pirate. So having them fight for the treasure was still believable to me.
There are a few nitpicks I didn't care for. Most notably the part with the woman-only town. Up to this point I think the topics were comical and harmless while still being engaging. But then the fire nation attacked-jk. I am gonna go pretty in depth here, and while I don't like this small section of the book, I do think the book as a whole is great.
So, in this all woman town the author takes a different turn than I'd like. Firstly, he made a comically obese woman, Bibi, be the lost love of his best friend. That would be fine if it was just a plus size woman tbh, but the author goes out of his way to say that the woman is basically a human bowling ball. She is constantly eating excessive amounts of food and even in a combat situation she will not stop eating at all. She manifests food from her fat rolls at one point. And there's an odor from rotten and decayed food eminating from her. I just didn't find this funny. I think it's insensitive of people with eating disorders and larger women. It is used as a literal joke in the sense of "haha look how fat she is!" And while one of my favorite jokes is written about this woman, I don't like that it is used AT the woman. She yells she is big boned, and our protagonist yells back, "bones don't jiggle!" That is a genuinely funny line but I don't like it being used as an insult at a person. It could've been done better and between friends or family. But that's my opinion.
Then the author takes it a step further and makes this Pac-Man woman an abusive, villainous, and deranged dictator. Now that's a lot to unpack so get comfy.
Abusive: she literally demeans and gaslighted our main character's best friend, saying that he could never get a good woman like her. She uses coercion to get the poor sob to act like her servant. She abused her authority in the town and those within it. This is a clear parallel to domestic abuse. In the book itself it brings up this very conflict. Dungar is debating if he should allow Jiminiy to stay in this abusive relationship with Bibi. It's part of why he confronts her when she tries to seduce him.
Villainous: she killed the men of the town she currently "rules" by claiming they all raped her. Then goes on to brainwash an entire town of women into thinking all men are rapists and murderers. She sends for our protagonist only to seduce him-knowing that it's the best friend of the guy that loves her. When seduction doesn't work, she threatens him saying that she will call rape on him. That alone REALLY undermines rape victims and how hard it is to come forward about true rape cases. Even as a joke, it just isn't funny. It's this very sensitive and nuanced topic being used as a cheap joke.
•Earlier in the book another woman character called the main character and his pal rapists, murderers, and child abusers. The context is that, she was getting a mob to believe that the violent battle match was justified as an entertaining form of corporal punishment. Insinuating that they would be executed regardless. I give this a pass bc it didn't have a direct victim claiming it. The current situation, has a person claiming to be a victim of rape out of.... spite. Which leads us to-.
Deranged: not only is this woman portrayed as a false victim of rape, she also calls for the execution of her rapist without trial. The execution of a woman that tries to defend our main character, for being skinny and whoring around with said main character. And a third person, a woman defending the woman being called a skinny whore. Now. I get this is supposed to be a funny skit. And it is absurdist in it's premise. But it also shows that she is just a big, fat, stupid, evil woman. It's very much a negative sterotype that fat people are also stupid. And this part in particular contradicts the manipulation aspect that convinced an entire town of women to hate men. Like which is it? Is she manipulative and cunning or stupid and naieve?
The rest of the town has a negative taste in my mouth bc it also plays up women sterotypes but it doesn't seem as impactful on social issues like rape, fat shaming, disordered eating, and domestic abuse. Like the town all being afraid of spiders is actually kinda funny.
Also, there is a blind character in this. And had this been a serious fantasy novel I'd get my soap box on how much blindness and disability is usually done terribly, but I actually kinda like how they handled it here.
Going into it knowing it's a comedy, we meet a gaggle of pirates that want to find treasure inside a magic tree. One of them is blind bc he angered a fellow pirate in a card game. Said pirate used two knives and stabbed the other's eyes rendering him blind. Later on, it's established that the tree will use hallucinations and magic to get people to defend the tree. Their eyes will turn a vibrant magic green color and they are stat buffed and delusional.
The blind pirate was affected by the tree like all the rest, and is given the same stat buffs and glowing green eyes but now he can see like before. And there is a nuanced moment where all the other pirates hesitate and think about what it means to try and de-spell him. Instead of fighting and trying to remove him, the captain actually relinquishes and offers to let him stay unharmed so long as they get the treasure.
Now, I like this aspect for a couple reasons. Firstly, our loony sidekick character straight up asks how and why the pirate is blind and wearing two eyepatches. I like that. Especially in a comedy. It sets up foreshadowing and also addresses how, in much more serious fantasy, blind and disabled characters are often not really disabled. How they behave and act basically how everyone else does without the author taking the time to show how different disabled people act and think. Think of this like Daredevil and Toph, both have magic that makes them able to function in a society pretty seemlessly. You could say it's a part of the magic system, but if you're more honest you can probably see that it's either lazy writing like with Daredevil-or it's Disability Porn like with Toph. So the fact that the author pokes fun at this cliche makes me happy.
Secondly, I like that the book doesn't shy away from the disability and how a true human being would react if returned their sight. Being blind really does suck. I can speak from experience. And it sucks a lot more for people who were once sighted. There's a huge amount of loss and feelings and whatnot. So I like that this actually had that nuanced moment of understanding. It was subtle and I just appreciate that. And the character himself is still a bloody pirate. So having them fight for the treasure was still believable to me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 22, 2017
This is a silly book. Very creative, I think at its best it was good but there were long stretches that were a tad tedious. I enjoyed it most when reading during the day, when in a more up-beat mood and ready for the humor. I found it fell flat for me when I was reading before going to sleep.
The nerd in me appreciated some Futurama references to snu-snu, a Monty Python reference about how to figure out if someone is a witch, and this gem:
"The queen also tried to arrange an exorcism for me but the priest kept telling her that if it was a legitimate possession the body has ways to try shut that whole thing down."
The nerd in me appreciated some Futurama references to snu-snu, a Monty Python reference about how to figure out if someone is a witch, and this gem:
"The queen also tried to arrange an exorcism for me but the priest kept telling her that if it was a legitimate possession the body has ways to try shut that whole thing down."
January 25, 2023
I like silly books. I don't like misogynistic stories.
January 28, 2022
I liked the sidekick but wished he was in a better book.
September 6, 2020
This book was good. Characters well created. Some didn’t like but were ones I did. Dungar really grew in the book. Him and Jimminy. Was a book I am happy to have read.
November 30, 2021
A pleasing medieval style, fantasy Farce. Quite Tom Holtish in style. Silly but enjoyable.
July 7, 2022
I disagree with other reviewers’ opinions that the “author hates women”. That’s not true. The author specifically hates manipulative women. Rosie and Gillie are two female examples that are treated normally. Perhaps those who disagree, have seen qualities in themselves that they identify with the characters Harrow and BB, who are finally called out for all of the awful and hateful things that they’ve done. What I will say is, I have no clue what I just read but I will say that it was entertaining for a very long day of traveling. You’re going to say “what?!”, “really?!” and “yea sure why not” a lot. Classical literature it may not be but funny enough to be entertaining, yes.
October 7, 2020
Just stupid. The author seems to think that every line needs to be witty and clever and funny, but it’s just tiresome. Many people have tried and failed to recreate William Goldman’s magically witty prose from The Princess Bride, this is yet another book which fails spectacularly to do so. I have a suggestion why Goldman’s works so well - not every line is trying to be funny! So, when he does turn a phrase or make witty observations in the narration, it stands out. There’s much more he does than that, but we can at least start there. Just look at Nicholas Eames’s Kings If The Wyld - a great book that is often genuinely funny - leaves room for the wit to breath and has a nice mix of funny, witty, serious, and plain functional narration.
I could go into characters and plot and all that, but the only question you’re probably asking if you are thinking about reading this book is whether or not it’s funny. Answer: No, it’s not.
I could go into characters and plot and all that, but the only question you’re probably asking if you are thinking about reading this book is whether or not it’s funny. Answer: No, it’s not.
January 29, 2018
This book started off promising with the prologue. Things went downhill from there.
The author keeps switching his tenses, several times mid-sentence. This is jarring and breaks story flow. The middle section drags and could have benefited from some trimming. At times it seems like the book forgets its mission of lampshading fantasy tropes and turns into a normal heroic quest.
Furthermore, it seems as if the author would have me believe that fat people dying = funny. Alas, it's not. The woman village reads like the author trying to get political and is a complete misfire. It was so bad that I considered dropping the book at that point.
The ending was actually pretty good, and is the reason I'm giving this 2 stars instead on 1.
The author keeps switching his tenses, several times mid-sentence. This is jarring and breaks story flow. The middle section drags and could have benefited from some trimming. At times it seems like the book forgets its mission of lampshading fantasy tropes and turns into a normal heroic quest.
Furthermore, it seems as if the author would have me believe that fat people dying = funny. Alas, it's not. The woman village reads like the author trying to get political and is a complete misfire. It was so bad that I considered dropping the book at that point.
The ending was actually pretty good, and is the reason I'm giving this 2 stars instead on 1.
April 23, 2022
I truly never write negative reviews anymore. I was around for the Goodreads fiasco of 2014 and saw reviewers being physically assaulted by authors in the grocery store. My friend was stalked to her home by an unhinged author due to a negative review. I honestly don't engage unless it's positive or if I'm reviewing for parents, but I felt a deep-seated need to warn others about this book. I honestly feel it would be irresponsible of me if I don't.
This book started out cute. I loved the satirical take on fantasy quest novels and found the protagonist to be a loveable grump, but all of that changed in a flash when he finds himself in a village of women who are suspicious of men. The absolute stereotyping here was enough to make me sick, but it gets worse. This is basically an hour-long fat joke but I fail to see where the "joke" part is. Mostly I felt it showed the author's hidden insecurities and I feel it's a pity that it had to be relayed in such a vicious and disgusting manner. However, as annoying as that was, it was not what made me put this from 1.8x speed to 2.4x speed to get it over with. The rape joke was.
One of the women, scorned because he didn't want her, accuses our MC of rape. In a world where women are so seldom believed already, was this really necessary? Where is the humor in this? Rather, the author is just showing his true colors. Not only is he fatphobic but he is also a raging misogynist. My favorite part had to be when the MC insinuates that he would have never raped that woman because she's fat.
Right. Because, statistically, rapists care about weight and clothing, right?
Save yourself from this. It's an atrocity that should have never been published and I am disgusted by its existence, quite frankly. I would give it negative stars if I could. I've never been so repulsed by something said to be "literature." It's garbage.
This book started out cute. I loved the satirical take on fantasy quest novels and found the protagonist to be a loveable grump, but all of that changed in a flash when he finds himself in a village of women who are suspicious of men. The absolute stereotyping here was enough to make me sick, but it gets worse. This is basically an hour-long fat joke but I fail to see where the "joke" part is. Mostly I felt it showed the author's hidden insecurities and I feel it's a pity that it had to be relayed in such a vicious and disgusting manner. However, as annoying as that was, it was not what made me put this from 1.8x speed to 2.4x speed to get it over with. The rape joke was.
One of the women, scorned because he didn't want her, accuses our MC of rape. In a world where women are so seldom believed already, was this really necessary? Where is the humor in this? Rather, the author is just showing his true colors. Not only is he fatphobic but he is also a raging misogynist. My favorite part had to be when the MC insinuates that he would have never raped that woman because she's fat.
Right. Because, statistically, rapists care about weight and clothing, right?
Save yourself from this. It's an atrocity that should have never been published and I am disgusted by its existence, quite frankly. I would give it negative stars if I could. I've never been so repulsed by something said to be "literature." It's garbage.
August 6, 2019
To be honest I had very, very, very low expectations when I started this book but lo and behold it turned out better than I thought. It very satrical and fun and the popculture references (at least the ones I got) were hilarous to me. It is not a laughing out loud but I did find myself smile from time to time. I don’t suppose that anyone who starts this book is expecting anything serious. There was a part in which should have not been in the book because it does really shine a bad bad light at the topic but I guess if you make fun of everything you have to make fund of EVERYTHING. The plot is not at all what I thought it would be, still rather simple but always good for a surprise. The characters are not the most well written but they are kind of lovable and fun. All in all I really enjoyed this quick read!
January 25, 2021
Con las ganas que tenía de que me gustara... siento que le super faltó a la parte crítica para ser una parodia valiosa, de modo que la verdad no sentí que fuera ni un comentario sobre los clichés de la épica fantástica. Pero pues ni modo. La historia entretiene. Hay algunos chistes que dan gracia. Pero le faltó demasiada sensibilidad para tratar bien los tópicos que involucran mujeres. Neta que cuando pasa esto lo único que puedo pensar es que el autor es machista, como mínimo. Tuve la esperanza de que hubiera alguna redención al final, pero nada.
April 27, 2017
What a delightfully silly story!! I imagined Eric Idle's voice the whole time. While it was indeed silly, it was extremely funny, quite clever, and had some lovely messages. If I tried to explain the plot to you, it would sound ridiculous, but trust me - it's super fun.
September 1, 2021
I found the tone of the title to be a bit of a mismatch to the tone of the book. (Also, if this matters to you, there are fewer witches than you'd expect.) The story kept me interested, but I think I was just looking for something funnier - though this certainly does have humor.
October 11, 2020
slightly positive 3 star but more "eh" than anything.
October 20, 2020
This book is hilarious!! I was laughing the whole time!
January 23, 2022
DNF approx 10%.
IMHO opinion rubbish!
IMHO opinion rubbish!
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