The calendar pages are moving ever closer to Christmas. For many, December marks one of the most depressing times of year. If the holidays are stressful, maybe you have too many expectations of what Christmas should be like.
"Christmas, for most people, is not a Norman Rockwell painting scene in which everything is wonderful and glowing, with the whole happy family sitting around the fireplace," explains Theresa Farrow, a psychiatrist at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center-Tulsa campus. "If we expect such a scene and it doesn't happen, we will only be disappointed."
Lowering expectations is one of the most important things one can do to help Christmas become the happy, peaceful holiday it should be, she suggests. "People forget to relax and enjoy themselves, which is what Christmas is really all about. We can schedule so many 'enjoyable' things at Christmas that these events soon become tasks. That's when you know you're doing too much."
Farrow offers these tips for staving off holiday stress:
* Eliminate every third item on your list of things to do. "You may find that many must-do's aren't really necessary. If something isn't important enough to remember, then it probably doesn't need to be done."
* Take care of yourself. Stick to your exercise program, take warm baths, see a movie, and give yourself the "little pleasures" you would at other times of the year.
* Remember what the holidays are really about. "Take time to get in touch with your spiritual side and your basis of love for other people and yourself. Also, reserve some quiet time for yourself."
* Stay within your budget when purchasing gifts, so shopping doesn't become another of stress. If you are strapped for cash, give of your time instead.
* If feelings of grief or loss exist, acknowledge them. If you are separated from family or friends or have suffered a recent loss in your family, realize that such a feeling is normal. "You may need to take an hour or so just to cry about missing somebody and allow the grief to be expressed. If your repress such feelings, they will only continue to try to surface."
* If you're lonely, get out around people. Volunteering for nonprofit organizations or visiting nursing home residents or shut-ins are good ways to get into the spirit of giving.
* Allow yourself to experience the joy of Christmas. "The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, peace, and tolerance of others and yourself. If you can remember that, it often helps you keep your priorities straight about what's important and what isn't all that important."