Let us pay: God-free gospel fun at Sunday’s Finest

As the chandeliers dim against the vaulted ceiling of the Chapel in the Mission, women wearing Baptist-size hats fan themselves while men balance heaping plates of eggs and biscuits on their chino-clad knees. A soloist emerges from the be-robed gospel choir and sings:

“When you call my name, it’s like a little prayer.”

The Madonna hit rings through the former funeral parlor and current performance venue: “Just like a prayer; you know I’ll take you there.” The choir and crowd join in.

The “there” is Sunday’s Finest, host, organizer and reverend-for-the-day Mustafa Khan’s “nonreligious” church service. Khan, who previously worked for Facebook in operations and marketing, has developed a loyal following among the new Mission scenesters with his events, including April’s Silicon Valley Fashion Week, San Francisco’s Daybreaker dawn dance parties, and the recently launched Midnight Brunch. For $30 to $40, guests at Sunday’s Finest get a comfort-food buffet, seats to the show/church service and a sense of small-town closeness in the big city.

“Brothers and sisters,” Khan, decked out in a black-and-gold brocade faux vestment with shimmering lamé pants, greets the guests, “Welcome to Sunday’s Finest. We’re a fake church in a real church.”

He gestures to the neo-Gothic arches that reveal the venue’s mortuary past. “We don’t have religion, but we have love, spirit and community. Let’s make friends.”

Writer and comedian “Sister” Sarah Cooper is next to take the pulpit with a sermon on the theme of the day — friendship.

“When looking to make friends, God in his merciful wisdom replied, ‘I giveth thee an app for that,’” Cooper begins, before launching into her own “Ten Commandments of Friendship,” which include:

“A friend is someone you would pretend to be gay for. Or straight for.”

And: “A friend won’t just refuse to cooperate with the police; they’ll also help intimidate the witnesses.”

She concludes her sermon with the “Friendship Prayer”:

“Yesterday you were my friend,” the crowd recites along. “Today you’re my family; tomorrow you’re my alibi.”

Khan next goes into the crowd looking for afflicted to heal.

He eventually “cures” a man (Circus Automatic performer Fleeky) suffering from a sprained ankle. The afflicted man leaps onto the stage, strips off his shirt and proceeds to execute acts of inverted balance and contortion atop a table stacked with wooden blocks. A “snake handling” demonstration is next, performed by the slinky Inka, who writhes the role of the snake. The snake goes from charming to astounding with her act’s conclusion: shooting an arrow into a target while upside down, using her feet to pull the bow.

Like any Mass, the service has been building up to the Holy Communion presentation, but instead of the body and blood of Christ, guests are served Mission favorites: bread from Tartine Bakery and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.

“If the bread doesn’t last,” Khan says, “blessing” the host, “it’s because it’s from Tartine and it’s expensive.”

After more acrobatics courtesy of the “eight times great-grandson of Jesus Christ” (Orion of Circus Automatic), the Sunday’s Finest choir offers one final hymn, again on the theme of friendship.

“Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want,” the choir sings to a roar of recognition, “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,” the congregation responds, launching into the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe.”

As the chapel empties after the service, the congregation mills about outside and in the venue’s lobby, participants talking to their new brothers, sisters and friends.

“I’m not really from a church tradition,” says Anna Sawyer, a picture of Sunday refinement in 1950s frock and 1930s boater hat. “I’m here to dress up. It’s also great to meet new people. Mustafa’s events are great for that.”

“I’m only here for three weeks, but I’d definitely come again,” says Itai Dagon, an Israeli from Jerusalem in the Bay Area for the Tikkun Olam Makeathon with Google. “There’s nothing like this at home.”

As Khan shakes hands and says goodbye to his new “parishioners,” he tells them he hopes to do another service within the month, given the great response.

“We saw a need people had to do something fun, friend-making and meaningful on the weekends,” Khan says, “There’s so many creative people yearning for awesome experiences here. I like connecting them.”

As a group of wise prophets once sang: “Make it last forever, friendship never ends.”