Transfer window news: A new team in for De Bruyne and more – as it happened

Well, this has been fun. If you enjoy a certain sort of fun. But all fun things must end, so it’s time to end this blog for the day and wait for tomorrow to come. Tom Bryant will be yer man for everything lovely then, so tune in from 9am (ish).

I shall send you off into the night with this, for everyone enjoys a goalkeeping blooper.

Here’s the Fiver, on Manchester United and Marouane’s big Belgian elbows.

The blog, and indeed the day, are winding down. So here’s Jamie Gladden: ‘Berahino to Spurs is actually the perfect signing for us because you have to be a Saido-masochist to derive any pleasure from Tottenham’s transfer dealings. Saido-masochist! Hello..? Is this thing on..?’

‘To clear up any lingering doubts,’ clears up Michael, ‘in his tweet Krychowiak literally says “I’m staying in Sevilla for another season”. (Trust me, I’m a Polish carpenter)

‘If you think about it, since Man U can’t seem to get any players that say they want to sign for them maybe they should try to sign players that don’t want to be signed...’

According to Marca, Barcelona are keen to open talks with Neymar about a new contract, but interestingly his old man/agent (also called Neymar, which is a coincidence) is happy to leave it for a bit. He has ‘been a bit blasé about the whole thing’, apparently.

This is all very well of course, but there is some football happening tonight. I know! Fancy reading about Manchester United’s Champions League qualifier against Club Brugge tonight? And the great Fellaini experiment?

(Incidentally, with Van Gaal saying that Fellaini can either play as a No.8 or 9, have we all done lots of 8 1/2 jokes? I hope so. I mean, they’re rubbish, but it passes the time.)

Anyway, here’s Jamie Jackson’s match preview:

Last year Fellaini scored seven times and Van Gaal is clear the 27-year-old can offer a threat in attack. “He can play in a 9 position and in a 10 but also 6 and 8 but this year he shall play more 10 and 9 than 6 and 8 because there [in midfield] we have more players,” he said.

Fellaini is ready to operate up front. “In the past I played No10 and No9 sometimes when I had to help the team,” he said. “It’s not important where I play, it’s important to win the game. It’s different playing midfielder and striker or No10 but I enjoy all the positions I can play.

“Last season I did well and I want to continue like that. I know the philosophy of the manager and am looking forward to doing well and scoring some goals.”

Doesn’t look like Sevilla midfielder Grzegorz Krychowiak wants to go anywhere fast. Or anywhere at all, really. There’s been talk linking him to all sorts of clubs, notably Arsenal or Chelsea, but the Pole looks quite happy where he is...

Drew Gough doesn’t sound entirely convinced about Mario Balotelli’s new leaf (15.42):

‘I’d like to respond personally to Cristian Zapata by reminding him that at this time last year Liverpool and Brendan were praising Super Mario’s work ethic and his newfound dedication to marking at corners and that fact that he had turned up at training and that he had nice shoes that seemed to indicate a fundamental level of dedication to buying new shoes. In fact, is there a better first-two-days-at-a-club player than Ballotelli? You know, before any games have been played, he’s the man.’

Incidentally, Enner Valencia has now apologised for calling West Ham a big bunch of ninnies (or something like that) over his injury:

Valencia later moved to smooth the waters on Wednesday with a statement on West Ham’s official website.

“I have had a number of consultation meetings with specialists in London, accompanied by members of the Club’s medical staff, and they have always kept me updated me on my injury,” he said.

“It has been a frustrating time, but I would like to make clear that I have the utmost respect and confidence in the club’s medical team and the specialists I was referred to and I would like to apologise to them and the club for any issues arising from the recent press coverage.

“I will continue to work as hard as I can with them to return to help the team as quickly as possible, and continue the good start I made to the season.

“It is not possible to put an exact date on when I might be back on the pitch,” Valencia added, “but you can be rest assured that I am motivated to get fit and score more goals for West Ham United as soon as I can.”

‘Re: Owen Powell,’ writes Tim Sutton, ‘Don’t Spurs need to make money every window so they can give it all to Adebayor to play for someone else?’

Ooooh, let’s get a crate of balm in for that burn.

Mario Balotelli’s new teammate Cristian Zapata reckons the big man has his game face on. Whatever that means. He told Milan’s telly channel.

He seems serious. He definitely wants to make up for what happened over the past year with Liverpool. He needs to get in the game, and certainly over the past two days he’s been doing that. We hope he continues like this.”

Owen Powell’s been busy: ‘Today’s update is in danger of becoming a Spursfest, but then again, it is the last week of the transfer window. Anyhow, I was idly Wikipedia-ing Spurs transfers for the past few years and I think we’ve made a profit in every window for the past five seasons.

‘Or, at least, we’ve made an overall profit (I know that some people will say that’s because we sold Bale and Modric - yes, I know, our team no longer contains Bale and Modric). To get to the point, that means we have a lot of money in the bank. Ibrahimovic, please. (He would be the Klinsmann of 2015).’

‘Why didn’t Spurs try to get Lukaku when he was up for grabs?’ asks Chris Gardiner. ‘Someone out there answer me or I’ll have to believe that, despite what social media suggests, no one really knows anything.’ What an outrageous slur, Chris. Perish the thought that nobody has the first clue of what they’re doing.

Everyone, we’ve just found a way to make golf worse...

Nomination for Transfers That Just Make Sense, here:

Sure, let’s go for it.

Madridconomics:

Want the Northern Ireland squad for their European Championship qualifiers against the Faroe Islands and Hungary? Well, tough, you’re going to get it anyway.

Carroll, Mannus, McGovern, Hughes, Baird, McAuley, J Evans, Cathcart, Ferguson, Hodson, McLaughlin, McNair, Davis, Brunt, C Evans, Norwood, McCourt, Dallas, Reeves, Lafferty, McGinn, Ward, Magennis, Grigg, Boyce, Lavery.

Harry Redknapp has the inside track on what’s happening in the Saido Berahino deal:

Everything’s probably all done with the player behind the scenes. He probably has a good idea about where he’s going to live, even.”

Thanks Harry.

DONE DEAL! Asier Illarramendi has returned to Real Sociedad, signing a six-year contract with his former club. Next target, Tottenham.

It’s gone a bit quiet. Not that it was ever particularly loud today. Go on then - give us some transfers that just make sense, but haven’t been rumoured.

Guardian man Jacob Steinberg, sat to my left, reckons Victor Moses will go to Spurs. That sort of thing. Go!

Joe O’Connor has a theory: ‘Seeing as everyone linked to United suddenly decides to sign a contract at their current club with a nice pay increase, Mr Woodward should spread a rumour that United are interested in signing David De Gea, before he knows what’s happened he’ll have signed a new contract at united to stop that happening!’

You know Joe, that’s so crazy it just might work.

“I see your NFFC as the Championship’s basket case club and raise it with Leeds United FC,” writes Mark Judd.

Let’s open it to the floor - who’s the biggest mess in the Championship? Can’t really extend it to the whole Football League because Blackpool have no peer in those stakes.

Enner Valencia isn’t happy at all. You’d think West Ham would be doing their best to keep what strikers they have sweet, since they haven’t really got any others.

West Ham seem to have forgotten that I’m injured. But they don’t let me speak to another doctor. I don’t understand why West Ham doctors are doing this to me,” Valencia told Ecuador radio station La Deportiva, as reported by the London Evening Standard.

“The truth is that West Ham have not been supporting me. I have tried to ask an external doctor but the doctor of West Ham doesn’t want me to ask another doctor. It’s my health we are talking about here.

“I have been injured for a month and I still don’t know what the name of my injury is. I think I will have to ask a doctor to see me behind their backs. I have been thinking about going to an airport and getting out of London.”

Well, this is a thing. According to the Daily Mail, Derby are talking to Ashley Cole. Have they discovered oil under the iPro or something? They are spraying money around like Ray Stantz spraying pink slime on the inside of the Statue of Liberty.

Speaking of Cole, here’s Danny Taylor’s Observer column about him from last weekend:

The chances are you might not know a great deal about Cristian Raimondi, but it is a nice line in self-deprecating humour that he calls himself CR77. Raimondi has had what they know in Italy as a pacco postale career, going from club to club like a game of pass the parcel before returning to Atalanta and, at the age of 31, scoring his first goal in Serie A.

He is 34 now and a right-back by trade. But then he was asked to experiment as a winger when Atalanta took on Roma last season and Il Messaggero summed up rather neatly what happened next. “For one afternoon,” it observed, “the modest Raimondi became Cristiano Ronaldo’s older brother.”

His opponent that day was Ashley Cole – three Premier League titles, seven FA Cups, one Champions League and 107 international caps – and the player many consider to be the finest English left-back there has been was subjected to the kind of ordeal that made it tempting to wonder if the same panicking thoughts flashed through his mind as Gary Neville experienced for Manchester United at West Bromwich Albion on New Year’s Day 2011. Neville’s decision to retire was made on a toilet at half‑time, trying to work out how he had just made “Jerome Thomas look like Ronaldo”.

A few more details on Liverpool not selling Lucas Leiva to Besiktas or anyone now. Here you go.

According to BBC East Midlands reporter Natalie Jackson, West Ham are the latest club to make a bid for Nottingham Forest’s Michail Antonio.

However...

One wonders if anyone has asked Jarvis if he wants to play for the Championship’s most historic basket case club. Still, things would be much simpler if we adopted the American system of just trading players without letting them know. Simpler, but not especially pleasant.

DONE DEAL! And it’s a whopper. Liverpool under-21 winger Harry Wilson has joined Crewe on loan until January.

The Sky Source-o-matic is in full flow again, and this time it has spat out a little chit that says Wolves have rejected a third bid of about £10million from Norwich for Benik Afobe.

Here’s what Kenny Jackett said about that particular situation after Wolves beat Barnet 2-1 last night:

He’s a Wolves player and when the window shuts he’ll still be a Wolves player. There is an enormous amount of speculation. But he won’t be leaving.

“We’re looking at the whole picture, the amount of time left in the window, the overall prices, there’s so much to consider and everything points to Wolves not letting anybody go.”

Manchester United could probably earn a few quid if they just register themselves as agents and take the 15% from all these new contracts they’re helping other players to sign. Apparently Thomas Müller is the latest to find their reported interest very handy indeed when negotiating a box-fresh deal from Bayern, which will earn him something like €10million-a-year.

More from Asier Illarramendi now, and he sounds rather pleased to be heading home, to Real Sociedad. He told AS:

Very happy. Of course, I wanted to return, I haven’t yet spoken to my teammates, later I will speak with them. Real [Sociedad] has always been my first option and I was really wanting to return home, of course.”

Enjoying the chap at the back here wearing a beret to Belgium.

News from our own Dave Hytner here – Virgil van Dijk, the Celtic defender targeted by Southampton, would not be averse to seeking his fortune elsewhere. A development not remotely connected to last night’s shellacking by Malmo.

We all know Italy is the place that makes the transfer rumour mill go round. And the Italian journalist Alfredo Pedulla has added further grist by suggesting Napoli are interested in Spurs’ Moussa Dembele. È vero?

The Birmingham Mail reports that Aston Villa striker Libor Kozak has turned down a move to Celtic, after a deal was apparently agreed. “I knew we shouldn’t have let him watch us actually play,” Ronny Delia didn’t say.

Keysey’s been thinking! Who wants to take this one?

And, of course, if you haven’t seen it...

With a whirr and a splutter and a plume of smoke, Sky Sources are in action...