Between her typically fiery red hair and dazzling smile, Debby Ryan is one of the most recognizable faces in Young Hollywood. The actress and musician became a household name after starring in Disney's hit show Jessie and fronting her band The Never Ending, but now she's ready to show the world a new side of her.
"I ended my show and a seven-year contract with Disney as a producer, director, and actor. That was a third of my life," she says. But with one era coming to an end, it leaves room for new opportunities. "I bought a house in the Hills. I booked a show at the Troubadour. I wrote an album, and I went through a massive breakup. My entire life is shifting in an interesting way."
With this new sense of freedom and independence, she finally has the chance to take time for herself—from hitting up New York City's famous production of Sleep No More to bonding with old friends. The clean slate is helping her open up, and she decided to let her fans in on a very personal struggle close to home: dating violence. Don't worry—she told us her relationship with Josh Dun, the drummer from Twenty One Pilots, couldn't have been any more perfect before things ended. But she does know the torment that comes from an abusive relationship, and her experience was actually with a friend.
Because of what she's been though, Debby decided to partner with Mary Kay and Love Is Respect for their "Don't Look Away" campaign. She's bringing awareness to dating violence and sharing what happened to her—and why she doesn't want other women to go through the same thing.
Abuse can show up in all forms—from physical to emotional to verbal —and a new one she admits she never even thought about was digital. "People that demand your password and always look over your shoulder, ask who you're texting, and grab your phone and let themselves in—that's not OK," she says. After realizing how common the patterns are in other women, she knew it was something she needed to speak up about.
"The time I decided to get out wasn't too late, but it was really, really late in the game. I'm very fortunate because I had people help me get this person out of my life, out of my house—like physically lock the door. I mean, he showed up across the country at a meet-and-greet of mine and said he needed to talk to me," she says. "I hadn't talked to him in a month. I told him to leave my life. So he threw a phone at me and it shattered to pieces and he was screaming, punching the wall, and cussing me out. Then he started bawling and said he's sorry and loves me. And then grab[bed] me by the wrist and pull[ed] me in a bathroom and lock[ed] the door"
Going through an experience like this had a major effect on Debby. "I thought I was stronger than that, and it can make you feel weak," she says. "To be able to know that you're worth more than that and fight for yourself is a really difficult thing."
Even though Debby's situation didn't happen with anyone she was romantically involved with, she wants women to know abuse can occur in all forms. "I wasn't dating this person. This person considered themselves my best friend," she says. "We also had a professional relationship and it was such emotional manipulation to the point where it became physical, and it stopped before it got too far. The second someone puts their hand on you, a boundary has been crossed. If anyone is feeling manipulated or abused, that's the best it's going to get and you have to fight for yourself now."
The good news is there's a way for anyone struggling with abuse to get help: All you need to do is text Love Is Respect at 22522. "There's a 24-hour, completely safe, completely anonymous texting counsel service. It's people our age helping you through it. You can text them anything, from getting help calling the police to asking about the signs of dating abuse," Debby says.
With all the incredible opportunities ahead of Debby, and the negative influences totally swiped clear from her life, it's clear that 21 is going to be a good year.