Sex during pregnancy: Your questions answered

Can you have sex while pregnant?

In most cases, yes! As long as you're having a normal pregnancy without complications, you can continue to have sex right up until your water breaks or you go into labor.

Don't worry: Having sex during pregnancy won't hurt your baby. Your baby is protected by your uterus and a layer of muscles, and is safely cushioned by the surrounding amniotic fluid. The mucus plug inside your cervix also helps guard against infection.

Many people find sex during pregnancy liberating because there's no reason to worry about getting pregnant. That said, if you're not in a mutually monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner, always use male condoms or female condoms to protect you – and your baby – from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Many STIs – including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis – can cause serious complications during pregnancy.

Sex during pregnancy may look (and feel) a little different than it used to: As your belly grows, you may have to experiment to find the pregnancy sex positions that work best for you. For example, the missionary position gets increasingly difficult as your pregnancy progresses and becomes nearly impossible in late pregnancy.

Check out our slideshow for more ideas, information, and illustrations on the best pregnancy sex positions. You'll find helpful suggestions and tips for making pregnancy sex comfortable (and enjoyable!) at every stage.

What are the benefits of pregnant sex?

Besides having sex during pregnancy just for the sheer fun and pleasure of it, other possible benefits include:

• Staying active. Having sex burns calories, which could help you and your partner stay active and keep fit.
• Better orgasms. Increased blood flow to your genital area during pregnancy often means better orgasms.
• A boost in happiness. Having an orgasm releases endorphins that can make you feel happy and relaxed.
• A closer bond with your partner. Having a healthy sex life during pregnancy is a good way to maintain a close emotional connection with your sexual partner – which is especially important in a time of so many changes.

When is sex during pregnancy not a good idea?

In some circumstances, you may have to skip certain activities or positions, or stop having sex entirely for part or all of your pregnancy. Your ob-gyn or midwife will let you know whether you have – or develop – any complications that make sex a no-go.

Your healthcare provider may tell you not to have sex if you have:

• Placenta previa
• Premature labor (or a history of premature labor)
• Unexplained vaginal bleeding or abnormal vaginal discharge
• Cervical insufficiency
• A dilated cervix before the third trimester
• Ruptured membranes (your water has broken)
• An outbreak of genital herpes (or oral herpes if you're receiving oral sex)
• Other STIs (sexually transmitted infections)

Your ob or midwife may advise you to avoid sex in other situations as well – like if there are signs you might be at risk for preterm delivery. If you're uncertain, ask your provider.

What if I have bleeding or cramping after sex?

Spotting or mild cramping can happen after sex when you're pregnant, but this doesn't always mean there's a problem. However, call your ob-gyn or midwife if you have any unusual symptoms during or following intercourse, including:

• More than mild cramping that doesn't go away after a few minutes
• Pain
• Bleeding
• Discharge

Don't hesitate to contact your healthcare provider any time you have any questions or concerns, especially if you aren't sure whether you should be having sex during pregnancy, or if you're worried about your baby's health or safety.

And if your provider does tell you to stop having sex, make sure you ask whether this means you need to avoid specifically intercourse, or whether you shouldn't put anything in your vagina or do any activity that could bring you to orgasm.

Does pregnant sex feel different?

Most women say that sex does feel different for at least part of their pregnancy. You may find it more pleasurable at times but not really enjoy it or feel up to it at other times.

Certain physical changes can also make sex during pregnancy feel different. Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can heighten sensation that may add to your pleasure during sex. You may have more natural vaginal lubrication, which could be a plus. (For those who don't feel like they have more natural lubrication during pregnancy, using lube while you're pregnant is safe – just be sure to buy a water-based one.)

On the other hand, more sensitivity in certain areas may feel uncomfortable or even unpleasant during pregnancy sex. You may also have some mild abdominal cramps or contractions during or immediately after intercourse or orgasm, which can be worrisome even though they're aren't uncommon.

Always let your partner know during sex if anything feels uncomfortable, even if it's something you're used to doing together.

My pregnancy sex drive is very low. Is this normal?

When it comes to your pregnancy sex drive, there's a wide range of individual experiences. Some women want more sex during pregnancy; others, not so much. One study found that pregnant women's sex drive decreased in the first trimester, but increased again in the second trimester.

In general, sexuality is different for every woman and depends on how you're feeling physically and emotionally – which changes a lot during pregnancy!

You may feel too tired, moody, or nauseated for sex, especially in the first trimester. It's also not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the physical and emotional changes you're going through. But you may find that your libido returns in full force once you reach the second trimester, when morning sickness and pregnancy fatigue typically ease up.

Don't be surprised if your desire fades again in the third trimester, especially as your due date approaches. At this point, you may feel too big, achy, or exhausted to even think about third-trimester sex. You may also be preoccupied with upcoming labor and birth.

If you feel like being less physically affectionate than usual, try to share your feelings and reassure your partner of your love. Keeping the lines of communication open will help you support each other as best you can while you go through these changes together.

Even if you can't have intercourse, or if you're turned on but not enjoying penetration, you can explore other ways of expressing your love:

• Cuddle
• Make out
• Massage each other
• Give and receive oral sex
• Masturbate (on your own or with your partner)

What if my partner isn't attracted to me now that I'm pregnant?

Most partners find their pregnant lover as attractive as ever, or even more so. But pregnancy worries can also affect your partner's sex drive. For example, your partner may be anxious about the reality of parenthood, and that can affect their libido.

Also, partners often become more tentative about sex during pregnancy because they're afraid the penetration will hurt the baby. But rest assured – if you have a male partner, his penis doesn't go past your vagina during intercourse, so it can't harm the baby.

Never underestimate the importance of simply sharing your feelings with each other as a way to feel close. Open communication can defuse a lot of tension and allow you to relax, enjoy each other, and find ways to be intimate, whether or not you're having sex.

Is oral sex during pregnancy safe?

For the most part, giving and receiving oral sex during pregnancy is safe. For you, licking is fine, but be sure that your partner never blows into your vagina. Forcing or blowing air into the vagina could form a bubble of air that gets into your blood circulation (embolism). This very rarely happens, but it can be life-threatening for you or your baby.

It's also not safe for you to receive oral sex during pregnancy if:

• Your partner has an active outbreak of oral herpes or feels one coming on. And during the third trimester, if your partner has ever had oral herpes, you shouldn't receive oral sex at all, whether or not your partner has symptoms.
• You don't know if your partner has HIV or an STI. In this case, use a dental dam (a sheet of latex that you place between your genitals and your partner's mouth). There's some evidence suggesting that a person may be able to transmit HIV, as well as STIs such as herpes, gonorrhea, and HPV, through microabrasions or tiny cuts in the mouth.

Is anal sex during pregnancy safe?

In most cases, yes, anal sex during pregnancy is safe, though there are some exceptions. Anal sex during pregnancy may not be a good idea if you have:

• Hemorrhoids. These are unfortunately common during pregnancy and tend to get larger as you get closer to your due date. Not only is anal sex probably pretty uncomfortable if you have pregnancy hemorrhoids, but if they're bleeding, you could lose enough blood to cause a potentially dangerous complication.
• Placenta previa. If your placenta covers your cervix, anal sex could still damage the placenta. In this case, check in with your healthcare provider about whether it's safe for you to have anal sex.
• A risk of preterm labor. Just as when you're not pregnant, never go from anal to vaginal penetration before your partner washes their penis, changes sex toys, or cleans the sex toy that they're using. Otherwise, you are putting yourself at risk for bacterial vaginosis (an overgrowth of certain bacteria in the vagina), and there's some concern that this can make your water break early.

Is it safe for my partner to play with my breasts during pregnancy sex?

It's safe for your partner to touch, play with, or caress your breasts during pregnancy, as long as it feels good to you.

Your breasts change throughout pregnancy, and may feel tingly, tender, and unusually sensitive to touch, particularly in the first trimester. The tenderness generally subsides, but your breasts may remain more sensitive. Again, you may be turned on by this, or you may find it too intense and prefer that your breasts not be touched at all.

Late in pregnancy, as you near full-term, having your nipples stimulated may actually end up kickstarting labor. Nipple stimulation – sucking on or manually stimulating your nipples late for an extended period of time, around 15 minutes to an hour – releases oxytocin, which may help start labor by causing the uterus to contract.

More research is still needed on whether or not there's a definitive connection between nipple stimulation and the onset of labor. But if you've passed your due date and you're looking for ways to naturally induce labor at home, talk to your healthcare provider before performing any nipple stimulation first. Overstimulation might cause your uterus to cramp more than necessary, which could put too much stress on your baby.

Is it okay for my partner to ejaculate inside of me when I'm pregnant?

As long as you're having monogamous sex with a partner who doesn't have any STIs, it's safe for your partner to ejaculate inside of you while you're pregnant.

Your partner may be nervous that their semen will reach and hurt the baby during penetrative vaginal sex, but this isn't possible: Your baby is protected by the placenta, the amniotic sac, and the mucus plug. Most semen and sperm that enter a woman's body during sex is discharged the same way it went in.

It's also good to remember that it's nearly impossible to get pregnant while you're pregnant, so unprotected sex is safe in that sense. And if you're performing oral sex on a male partner, know that it's okay to swallow sperm while you're pregnant.

Are masturbation and vibrators safe during pregnancy?

Yes, masturbation and vibrators during pregnancy (as well as other sex toys) are fair game, with a few general precautions, and as long as your provider hasn't advised against them.

• Clean all toys before and after you use them, especially after anal sex.
• Stop using sex toys if you have pain, cramping, or discomfort.
• Don't use sex toys if you're experiencing any vaginal bleeding, are at risk for premature labor, or have a low-lying placenta.
• Don't use them after your water breaks.

Is third trimester sex safe?

Sex during the third trimester of pregnancy is safe as long as you're having a healthy, normal pregnancy. That said, as your third trimester progresses and you get bigger, you may feel too tired or uncomfortable for sex, or you may find yourself having to get creative about pregnancy sex positions that actually feel good.

Sex during the third trimester may not be safe if you have:

• Placenta previa. If your male partner's penis comes in contact with your cervix, or if you have contractions as a result of orgasm, it can injure the placenta and cause bleeding that could endanger the pregnancy.
• Vaginal bleeding
• Preterm labor
• Cervical insufficiency

Is it safe to have sex when dilated?

It's safe to have sex if you're dilated in your third trimester and all is well with your pregnancy.

Your practitioner will recommend against having sex if you're dilated and not yet in your third trimester, though, because it may increase your risk of premature labor. This can happen if your cervix effaces (shortens) and dilates (opens) too early – a condition called cervical insufficiency or incompetent cervix.

Cervical insufficiency typically happens between 16 and 24 weeks and can result in miscarriage or preterm delivery. Your practitioner may recommend a cerclage (stitches) to help reinforce and hold your cervix closed until it's safe for your baby to deliver. Until your baby is delivered, you may need to avoid sex and exercise and take plenty of breaks off your feet.

Your practitioner may also advise you to abstain from sex for a couple of weeks if you've had any symptoms of preterm labor, even if you don't have cervical insufficiency.

Practitioners may vary on their advice about avoiding sex if you're dilated, because studies on the topic are lacking. Check in with your provider if you're in doubt. They can give you good advice based on your particular situation.

Does sex induce labor?

No, sex doesn't induce labor, not if you have a normal, low-risk pregnancy. Sexual stimulation or orgasm cannot start labor in late pregnancy, and it can't cause a miscarriage in early pregnancy either. Having an orgasm (or stimulating your nipples) may cause mild contractions, but these are generally temporary and harmless.

Some pregnant women, midwives, and ob-gyns may believe that having sex near the end of pregnancy might give you the boost you need to get labor started. One theory is that the hormones in semen (prostaglandins) and the contractions from an orgasm stimulate the cervix. While some studies have shown that sex while full-term might reduce the need for labor induction, there's no definitive link between having sex and going into labor.

As long as your pregnancy is healthy and uncomplicated, you can have as much sex as you want, right up until your water breaks. Just don't expect it to jump-start labor!